That stupid Miracle Whip ad.

Makes you wonder about “cheese product.”

Stuff for cheese’s hair.

It’s probably a good ad. Like the stupid energy drinks made of colored water, it’s just a way to put a plain product next to people having a good time, so you think it’s not a dopey product your mother makes you put in your lunch.

Every time I hear about Miracle Whip, I think of David Letterman back when he was funny:

“The parting of the Red Sea was a miracle.
This, my friend, is a jar of lard.”

It’s still too restrained - I mean, this is Miracle Whip we’re talking about. They need something more like “Miracle Whip’s all upinyaface, bitches! Taste goes boo-ya!!

Not as such, but I vaguely remember being around ten, searching the fridge for Cool Whip but not quite remembering the name, finding Miracle Whip, and tasting it. Ugh.