That taffy, sir, was not very laffy

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Just seen on a wrapper for Laffy Taffy.

Q. What happened to the wind?

A: It blew away.

Did a goldfish write that joke?

2

No, but a little kid probably wrote it.

I had a piece of taffy the other day.

What goes up and down but doesn’t move?

stairs

3

I love that line. I must find an occasion to use it, and soon.

4

Here’s one I remember seeing a while ago on a packet of chips:

Teacher: Billy, can you tell me what kind of insect a slug is?

Billy: A snail without a home!

That joke really pissed me off, particularly because anyone who refers to a slug as an ‘insect’ has no business being a teacher. Also, the joke is not actually funny in any way whatsoever.

5

Fell good for yourself that something written to amuse a 5 year old does not amuse you.

6

Last weekend I let my son eat Laffy Taffy on a 3 hour car ride. Approximately 4 minutes from the destination he spewed pink, sugary vomit all over himself, his car seat, the main car seat and the floor boards.

No sir, it was not laffy at all. But at least the vomit smelled good.

7

Laffy Taffy jokes are written by the writers of Bazooka Joe Bubble gum comics on their off hours.

8

The teacher may be wrong, but according to Wikipedia, Billy’s answer is actually correct. A slug is a gastropod mollusk with no shell (or a very reduced shell) while a gastropod mollusk with a coiled shell they can retract into is called a snail. Huh. Learn something new every day… Scroll down the Wikipedia entry to the section on apophallation to become even gladder than you are now that you’re not a slug.

9

Huh… if you Google “What happened to the wind” with “It blew away” (open spoilers are okay at this point, right?) you get a surprising (to me) number of hits complaining about Laffy Taffy.

No, I don’t yet feel like buckling down and getting to work today… why do you ask?

Anyway, Fish, take pleasure in the joy and bonding that comes from sharing a common experience… one I guess I’ll never know for want of eating sufficient amounts of taffy.

I particularly like this Open Letter to Mr. Willy Wonka, which includes the how-did-I-not-think-of-this