I used to be a relatively social person, with a large circle of friends. During my college years, and early in the “real world,” I used to be quite popular; something that seemed like an unattainable dream in high school. I was busy every night, throughout the weekends, and my phone frequently rang with offers to do something, if not just talk. Life was good.
As time went on, and my job tooke me from city to city, it became harder to meet new people. The social networks that you’ve used to meet new friends in the past are fewer and farther between, and more of your peers are involved with their families and their long-established circles of friends.
I’ve been in Cleveland for a little over a year, and although I hate to admit this, I have no friends here. Sure, neighbors and cow orkers are friendly, but there’s nobody I can call around here to just get a beer, see a movie, or just talk. Cleveland isn’t a transient community, and people have extablished circles of friends that go back years, if not decades; there’s no room for some out-of-towners. The greeters you see at churches and synagogues in other cities are non-existent here; I stand alone while others mill around me in the after-service donutfests of Protestant churches, sacramental coffee at a Unitarian Universalist church, or oneg shabbats at synagogues. Cluibs, groups, meetup.com - you can name them all, but I’m in an awkward age group where I’m too old for most young adult social groups, and too young for the others.
Had a chance to visit a friend in another city last weekend. After I returned to Cleveland, they just disappeared, probably disgusted at the time they wasted while they could have been doing something more exciting, like laundry or reading the telephone book. As I grow older, and I encounter fewer peers, I think I’m iturning socially inept again. I’m reverting to my adolescence, or at least the limited social skills I had then.
This morning, I looked in the mirror, and repeated the words of Harvey Pekar: “Now there’s a reliable disappointment.” Indeed.
Any others feel this way?