That's it! I'm going to be a well adjusted homo just to piss you people off!

The BBQ Pit
1

Yes, this is another big gay bitchfest with sweeping points and elements of incoherence.

This article describes a recent proposed amendment to the constitution that will define marriage as between a man and a woman.

My favorite part:

I am lesbian! I am responsible for the decline of traditional marriage and society!

I often wonder exactly what the motivations of traditional values crusaders are. Then I look around me and realize exactly what it is: homosexuality causes pain, suffering, and death. they’re trying to save me from myself!

I’m going to quote from an article I wrote for a gay newspaper.

Where have I learned that no good comes of being queer, you might ask? From the following sources, all of which feature dead, psycho, or team-switching queers. This is by no means a complete list.

Movies [ul]
[li]Lost and Delirious[/li][li]The Children’s Hour[/li][li]Rebel Without a Cause[/li][li]The Fox[/li][li]Basic Instinct[/li][li]The Killing of Sister George[/li][li]Kissing Jessica Stein[/li][li]I can go on for pages, really…[/li][/ul]

Television [ul]
[li]Buffy the Vampire Slayer[/li][li]Babylon 5[/li][li]ER[/li][li]Boston Public[/li][li]All My Children[/li][li]24[/li][li]Northern Exposure[/li][li]And so on and so forth…[/li][/ul]

My lifestyle will lead to nothing but pain, pain, pain! Thank you for helping me realize that, media (gay media, even!) and family values organizations!

I think I will need to rent a skyplane and write “we get it” in rainbow letters across the greater LA area.

I’m declaring myself content and well-adjusted- dare I say happy and gay?- from now on just to spite these yahoos.

Oh, and anyone who feels like posting about how this is “yet another whining gay post” is cordially invited to suck my strap-on.

-Andy the Irredeemable

2

Er, it’s Vito Russo, not Russel, who wrote The Celluloid Closet.

And as a ray of hope, may I submit But I’m a Cheerleader, Bound, Go Fish, which featute happy dykes triumphing over adversity?

Darlin’, what you need is to lie back, watch some Xena episodes, and get a footrub from Elle McPherson.

3

For the love of…

What the heck are these people afraid of?

[hypothetical bigot rhetoric]
Oh my God, if we give gays and lesbians the right to marry they might…

Get married! Settle down, have kids, buy houses and minivans and swingsets and all those other things that undermine American values! Because we know that they can’t really want to do all those things because they’re good things to do, they’re just doing them to parody straight people! They can’t possibly care about one another the way we care about one another. They can’t feel like normal people feel, and want to have a good life for themselves.

They must be stopped. We have to keep the institution of marriage out of their hands, lest we have hordes of gay people going out and getting married just to spite us. We can’t have that sort of thing. I’d best go out and draft a constitutional fucking amendment writing my own personal prejudice against them into the nation’s most important document!
[/hypothetical bigot rhetoric]

Fuck 'em. Not one person, on this board or anywhere else, has been able to justify this absurd notion that marriage belongs to the heterosexuals of the world, without it coming down to “My god said so” or “It’s icky”. Not one. There are no other reasons. It’s a stupid fucking political position, designed to make the straight people of the world feel superior to us lowly gays, and I’m sick and fucking tired of it.

We’re being denied the ability to enter into a legal contract, because of something we have no control over. We’re being declared permanent second-class citizens, forever on the fringes of society? Why? Because some idiotic neanderthal conservative zealot fuckwipes think that we’re icky.

Gaaah!

4

“Yeah, but you can’t have children, at least naturally.”

– Poly, whose three foster sons had other parents than he and Mrs. Carp

Andy, I don’t know how to break this to you, but along about the time Ratziger was making it clear that my priests are not validly ordained and cannot minister, they pointed out that you and gobear and the rest are intrinsically psychologically disordered. So you cannot become a well-adjusted homosexual. I’m sorry, but those are the rules.

:frowning:

5

Frankly, andygirl, you can’t win. Even shows with “positive” messages about gay people draw criticism.

I don’t know how you feel about Will and Grace, and I am sure that a valid argument can be made about its reliance on stereotypes, etc. But I’m viewing it as “positive” because the gay people in it aren’t of that dead, psycho, or team-switching variety you mentioned.

Nonetheless, I heard someone say the other day that W&G was “disgraceful.”

Why?

“Because it sends the ‘Wrong Message’ to kids.”

And what message is that?

“That you don’t have to be cautious around gay people.”

I mean, we all know that gay people have AIDS (including, of course, the fictional character “Will”), so for a show to portray straight (read: “safe and un-infected”) people hugging, kissing, and sharing sodas with gay people is socially irresponsible. Imagine the havoc if kids go around thinking it’s OK to:

a) be friends with and touch gay people, or, God forbid

b) BE gay!

I mean, SURELY no good can come of THAT!

I told this person (who attends church regularly and is very devout) that she’s lucky I ain’t God, because I wouldn’t let her ass in–I’d put her on the Express Bus to Hell, where she could make out with Fred Phelps in the back seat.

Anyway, my point is that you’re damned either way, because when a show portrays “your people” (notice tongue in cheek) as normal, content and well-adjusted people, well… the children suffer. It’s better if you wind up asphyxiating on that strap-on (while the girly-girl you seduced is rescued from her dangerous dalliances by Buck Manlyman), because then the children will be safe.

And Jesus Christ, if gay people get married, and HAVE children, well… how are those poor kids going to avoid touching gay people and getting AIDS?

Surely you understand.

I don’t see why you’re not willing to take one for the team, here.

6

Frankly, andygirl, you can’t win. Even shows with “positive” messages about gay people draw criticism.

I don’t know how you feel about Will and Grace, and I am sure that a valid argument can be made about its reliance on stereotypes, etc. But I’m viewing it as “positive” because the gay people in it aren’t of that dead, psycho, or team-switching variety you mentioned.

Nonetheless, I heard someone say the other day that W&G was “disgraceful.”

Why?

“Because it sends the ‘Wrong Message’ to kids.”

And what message is that?

“That you don’t have to be cautious around gay people.”

I mean, we all know that gay people have AIDS (including, of course, the fictional character “Will”), so for a show to portray straight (read: “safe and un-infected”) people hugging, kissing, and sharing sodas with gay people is socially irresponsible. Imagine the havoc if kids go around thinking it’s OK to:

a) be friends with and touch gay people, or, God forbid

b) BE gay!

I mean, SURELY no good can come of THAT!

I told this person (who attends church regularly and is very devout) that she’s lucky I ain’t God, because I wouldn’t let her ass in–I’d put her on the Express Bus to Hell, where she could make out with Fred Phelps in the back seat.

Anyway, my point is that you’re damned either way, because when a show portrays “your people” (notice tongue in cheek) as normal, content and well-adjusted people, well… the children suffer. It’s better if you wind up asphyxiating on that strap-on (while the girly-girl you seduced is rescued from her dangerous dalliances by Buck Manlyman), because then the children will be safe.

And Jesus Christ, if gay people get married, and HAVE children, well… how are those poor kids going to avoid touching gay people and getting AIDS?

Surely you understand.

I don’t see why you’re not willing to take one for the team, here.

7

Andy the heroic! Go! Tilt at those windmills! (who’s gonna play Sancho Panza to your Don Quixote?)

OTOH, I can show you my sister, the super-high-powered-God-listens-to-her-advice accountant, happily partnered for 20+ years. Maybe happiness & success isn’t so pie-in-the-sky, after all…?

8

OH, btw: The propsed amendment you quoted has somewhere between slim and no chance of becoming law. It’s merely political grandstanding and bully tactics of the lowest sort.

9

Oh bloody hell. Seems like they make these laws in order to justify anti-homosexuality sentiments without admitting to themselves that they’re scared of something they don’t understand. It goes something like this:

1.) Gay people are sinful because they don’t have a committed relationship, and therefore MUST be either sleeping around or living in sin.
2.) Oops…some gay people WANT to get married, and have a committed relationship.
3.) But, um. . .hey! Marriage can only be between a man and a woman, right? (at this, Angel rolls her eyes all the way to Neptune :rolleyes: ).
4.) So gay people CAN’T get married! It’s the law.
5.) See number one.

1st grade logic in a supposedly educated world. Ri-ight.

10

Similarly to Angel:

  1. Gay people are sad and depressed.
  2. Being gay must be unnatural and unhealthy.
  3. We must rescue the queers from their depraved lifestyle.
  4. By convincing them that they’re evil sinners.
  5. Gay kid hears this message, is consumed with self-hatred, maybe kills him/herself or uses other unhealthy coping mechanisms.
  6. Oppression sanctioned by 3) and 4) makes life difficult for all the rest of the queers. We get moody and upset.
  7. Look! Gay people are sad and depressed!
  8. see number 1.
11

Sorry, that would be me.

12

I came out at work after I walked into a co-worker’s office where she was speaking with my secretary. My secretary said, “Gay people are SUCH a happy people! I haven’t met one sad gay person.” Whereupon I promptly said, “I’m gay.”

Jesus, we’re a resilient lot, aren’t we? :wink:

Annnyyywwaaayyyy, reality struck me one day when I was in my Employment Law class and we were discussing how there is no federal employment protection based upon sexual orientation. Someone could be doing a FANTASTIC job and if their boss finds out he/she is gay and doesn’t like it - the boss could even say, “I am firing you because you are gay,” and that’s just tough noogies. Suddenly it struck me and that was ME. I was that kid. Whoa.

That really came home about 2 weeks ago when I told my boss I was gay so that he would know that I was entitled to take sick time to take my SO to the hospital - basically, she wasn’t just “my roommate.”

Tibs.

13

The argument that marriage will somehow be in peril if gays are allowed to marry has never made much sense to me. Lessee, marriage is threatened by allowing MORE people to get married. Umm, no, that one’s not quite clicking for me.

I guess the reasoning is that the urge to marry is inherent, so if you are prhibited from marrying someone of the same sex, then of course you will just have to suck it up and marry someone of the opposite sex. Or something like that. But you’re by God not going to marry yer lesbeen lover and expose children to that sort of perversity! Because seeing two people who love each other is just sick and wrong.

Why some idiots persists in thinking that government or even society can mandate who a person is attracted to baffles me. Just look through history. People are going to love who they love. Quit fighting it.

14

andy -

I do understand where you’re coming from…

But what’s wrong with the Willow/Tara rel on Buffy? (Other than the fact that Tara’s dead, I mean)

15

Marriage must be a sad, sad little thing if it can only be given value by forbidding it to a portion of the population.

16

More specifically,

source: http://www.allianceformarriage.org/reports/fma/fma.htm
(although I’m not sure how much they can be trusted, seeing as how there’s a blatant lie later on that page)

Just in case anyone might want to take the above information into account during the next election.

matt_mcl

Maybe it’s like a diploma from Harvard or Princeton (prize to the first person to figure out why I chose those two schools!). It doesn’t mean anything if everyone can get it. After all, it’s not about whether you love the other person. It’s whether your love for the other person is better than other people’s love for their partners.
And just in case people can’t tell, that was a joke.

17

The more I hear people rant against gays, the more I’d like to be a well adjusted homo just to piss them off.

I don’t think I’d enjoy the sex part very much, but then I’m not getting any sex now, so that wouldn’t matter…
:slight_smile:

18

How do you know until you try? Who knows, maybe we can recruit you. Although it would have been easier if a gay couple had adopted you as a child.

:rolleyes::wink:

19

Does this mean we can revive the cult of the Andychrist?

20

[QUOTE]

[li]24[/li][li]Northern Exposure[/li][/QUOTE]

Not that I don’t know exactly what you mean, but I’m a little curious about these two. In Norther Exposure, it’s Maurice what hates the gay couple that’s usually protrayed as something of a jerk, and I don’t remember a gay character in 24, but…oh…the assassin women? Honestly, I didn’t see that as a negative message, so much as a “don’t let emotionally involved people into your criminal deal” message. Hmmm…must ponder that one.