Please, you people are fucking nuts!
Eve has already been determined to be Margaret Dumont.
Isn’t that right, Mrs. Rittenhouse? {waggles eyebrows} 
Esprix
As my dear friend Steven used to say, “I don’t have time to be your personal educational experience.”
Esprix
{lower lip trembles} We don’t? 
Whew!
Esprix
The clueless victim and butt of every joke? Eve? Are you back on the pipe, dear?
No, the epitome of class, tact and grace while chaos reigns around her. I think that about sums it up. (Besides, she agrees.)
Esprix
Say, we just need to turn this around.
Start submitting stories to the press.
“Earlier today, two heterosexual republicans were arrested for armed robbery, and possession of narcotics.”
“A heterosexual woman was found guilty in court of abusing her two children over a six year period. Her Husband, also believed to be heterosexual was also convicted of several counts of abuse.”
"Prosecutors filed charges in federal court today against fifteen executives of the Enron corporation in the ongoing investigation of massive fraud and conspiracy among the predominately heterosexual management of that company. Assistant Special Prosecutor William Smith, himself a heterosexual, said “These guys are giving straight people a real bad name. It has to stop.”
Tris
Tris, I’m going to pull rank and dub you an honorary lesbian. I won’t be getting any action anytime soon either, so we can sit around and drink tea with Eve and write sarcastic letters to the editor.
I never much cared if there was a separate ‘domestic partner’ legal status for gay couples (please ‘no separate but equal’ rants; marriage is marriage no matter what it is called), until I kept hearing those ‘marriage is an institution to protect children’ arguments. I’m in a hetero marriage, but don’t have children. Does that make my marriage invalid?
I go blind raging now on this issue.
Maybe if you didn’t go raging you wouldn’t go blind?
( 
)
Welcome to the SD.
Esprix
Maybe if I weren’t blind I wouldn’t rage?
(I was trying to be a bit restrained; actually, the issue drives me batshit.)
Have any of you seen an HBO special titled “Southern Comfort”? It was about a female-to-male transsexual who got uterine cancer. She/he couldn’t find a doctor to treat her and died from it. The program was sensitive, and included this wonderful, supportive group of friends (also from the TS community). It was heartbreaking.
I never heard the media pick up on THAT story. They choose to focus on the negative gays, TSs, etc. rather than showing the day-to-day lives (and problems) these people face.