Okay, as many of you might remember, I’m the poster with the extraterrestrial neighbors, who’s city is building what looks to be a bunker down the street from where he works. Things have gotten even weirder, and I’ve just about had enough of it!
Down the street from where I live, it looks suspiciously like the city/county’s building some kind of massive underground complex. I have no idea what it is, nor what it could be for. There’s been no local media coverage of it, which is even stranger. That’s not what’s unhinged me, however. Nope, it was, of all things, Wal-Mart.
I stopped in there today to pick up some items and I should have known that it was going to be a bad time when I saw a car in the parking lot with a Sons of Confederate Veterans plate on it. (They’re not racist, they’re endorsed by Ann Coulter! :rolleyes: ) It gets weirder.
I spot a pre-teenage girl walking around with a T-shirt that proclaims, “Monkeys steal my underwear at night”! I guess if you’re a member of Future Strippers of America, it pays to start advertising early.
Wal-Mart has it’s 2003 calendars out already. Used to be one didn’t see calendars for the next year until Thanksgiving or so, but in the past couple of years everybody’s started putting calendars out earlier and earlier. I suspect that in a few years, the only way you’ll be able to get a 2010 calendar, is if you buy it on Jan. 2008, as it’ll be replaced by the 2011 in Feb. I spot what has to be the strangest calendar ever produced. It’s a Christian calendar done in the same sleezy style as Thomas Kinkade’s work, but the subject matter of the painting is slightly different. On the front of the calendar is a painting of a man in a T-shirt with an anguished expression on his face. In one hand is the handle of a hammer, in his other hand is what appears to be a railroad spike. Supporting the man from the rear is a risen Christ, with a decidedly, uh, how can I phrase this, passionately intense expression on his face. I couldn’t help but be reminded of the scene in the movie Naked Lunch where Kiki’s raped by the giant centipede. I’m not sayin’ that the painter intended to paint a picture of an anal raping Christ (band name!), but that’s sure how it looked to me.
Ye Gods! I have got to get out of this place!
