PAIRS? This is no time for your petty bourgeois restrictions! Don’t you see there is a CRISIS brewing? Don’t you oppress me–mate!
LOUNE: That would be 5,271,009–why, you wanna do some queue jumping? 
Meh. We can do that anyways.
Partners are necessary.
An attitude like that will get you far in life…or the line. Either way, your life consists of this line, baby.
Pull a Beetlejuice, trick the lady with the shrunken head into taking her number and grab a few of your sluttiest friends.
Clear your calendar, woman. I’m going to take a few of you on and consolidate this endeavor for our country.
OK-I’m game. But there are conditions attached.
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you need to know my name and use it–no calling me Brenda or whoever.
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please bring your own protection.
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Take a shower and brush your teeth–or at least have done so on regular basis.
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Kiss me–nicely. Several times–think of it as “priming the pump.” Use a baseball metaphor, if that makes you more comfortable.
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see the other sex thread–ie, don’t leave money on my nightstand. No, really, don’t.
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Don’t take a cell phone call during sex–it’s quite offputting.
Ok–who wants to ya know?
I’m not one to cavil when our national reputation is on the line, but I’m damned if I’m pulling anybody’s beetlejuice, thankyouverymuch! A girl has to have some standards, you know…
Fair’s fair there, m’man–you bringing your rugby team along? Heck, if we time it right we could bump the US up a few notches before The Daily Show…
Oh, and bring ice cream… lots of ice cream…
cracks knuckles
It’s go time! Into “Pleasure Chamber #69”!
You need no rugby team. I’m a one man scrum.
As an aside, why are all the Google ads for various types of tea? “Drink this tea” “Drink that tea” “Drink MORE tea” “Please, for the love of Og, talk about anything else–how about TEA?!”
We’re sponsored. How else do you want to get your fluids back, yet get a healthy dose of caffiene to stay up for a marathon romp?
Oh, by the way…there’s a difference between ads for tea…and ads for “teabags”.
See, I consider someone taking a call before or during the act a challenge. I don’t lose.
We got beat by the British?
Oh, terrible shame.
Strategically placed, and on vibrate, you might want that phone to ring.
boobs are not required for you know what but you know what is…it can still feel good no matter what the boob size…so I say go out and do it! America is losing it’s grip at least we can fight this war!
This is like learning a Microsoft program 
but I’m dub. I mean dumb
and factored in everything: menstrual cycles, arguments, illnesses, business travel, etc…
And…
my wife [of almost 27 years] and I are STILL out boinking the entire world?
ROCK-&-FUCKING ROLL!!!
Now I have an even better line for the RARE times she’s not in the mood: “Honey, you don’t want those French bastards winning, do you?”
Aint life a bitch???
*holds head up proudly and sings “Rule Brittania”
Do you realize we’re twentieth? We must get out more for the good of our country!
All you Toronto Dopers, who’s with me?
Whether or not we as a nation need to fuck more, I can tell you for damn sure I need to fuck more. Does eleanorigby have a slot open…uh, you know what I mean…stop sniggering dammit…sometime Sunday afternoon?
Also, I’m concerned Larry Mudd may actually be sniffing a dog’s paw. I think the partners have to be human.
Joins in. Gotta love Britain.