The 2009 Grammys

Cafe Society
1

  1. Whitney Houston is coked out of her gourd.

  2. Saadiq should have won.

  3. REM is irrelavent.

  4. <? Discuss>

2

REM? Are they even there?

I saw Paula Abdul on the pre-show; I’m not sure who is more coked out of their gourd.

3

HUZZAH! A good old-fashioned coke-off! We two sirs are in for a treat!

4

Neither Timberlake nor this blonde bimbo deserve to be in the same city as Al Green, much less the same stage.

5

Duffy is horrible…I saw the first ten minutes of her set at a festival this summer. She showed up 20 minutes late and just seemed like a total bitch.

I’m not going to say anything bad about JT, he’s done some pretty good things since he’s gone solo.

OTOH, Kid Rock is a blight on the musical landscape.

6

Finally! Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus on the same stage!!!

Now where’s that pesky rocket launcher…

7

They’re gonna waste Foo Fighters with Paul McCartney when they could’ve had the FFs rockin`the stage and Kid Rock and Sir Paul providing an in-show drink refill period, tsk, tsk, poor planning.

Oh, I take it back, Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus, refill your drinks now.

8

How many times is Coldplay gonna release that same song? They could’ve just called it “Speed of la Vida” tonight.

9

Jennifer Hudson just made me cry. So heartfelt. That made my night!

I thought Taylor and Miley were great.

10

I personally think that Jennifer Hudson deserves every bit of praise anyone could heap on her.

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Stevie Wonder and the MOTHERFUCKING JONAS BROTHERS?!?!?!! Are you serious?

12

I changed the channel and listened to the original instead.

At least all the kiddies can go to sleep now.

13

Blink-182 are almost as bad at presenting awards as they were at playing music. I hope they’re easier to ignore the second time around.

If a sinkhole to Hell opened up under the stage now, though, I’d be very happy.

14

If a sinkhole to Hell opened up under me right now I’d be at the 2009 Grammys.

15

Blink-182 were so bad live, I fell asleep in the mosh pit.

There’s no way that Katy Perry girl was actually singing her own song with all that running about, and were there no mirrors available backstage??

16

For some reason, the radio station our office always listens to is broadcasting it live.

Right now we’re laughing our asses off at Katy Perry attempting to sing “I Kissed a Girl”. A song that was pathetically bad to begin with is now at sub-karaoke level.

17

I liked Craig Ferguson’s bit, but I have to congratulate Katy Perry. She’s made hot lesbianism boring. I liked her song when she was calling herself Jill Sobule, though.

Did Morgan Freeman just say he’s friends with Kenny Chesney?

18

Yeah. I’m confused…

I just don’t get country music.

19

Holy hell, Natalie Cole looks amazing.

20

MIA better win