I’m still giggling.
The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones.
If you have to redeem a coupon in order to have it so you and your partner have sex together, there’s no saving the relationship.
My friend gave us a bag of “365 Naughty Nights” or somesuch scratch-off tickets. The first two involved doing a large grocery and setting up a fancy brunch/breakfast-in-bed and a “buy her flowers, she’ll love it!” ticket. Note that both pretty much come with a delay of at least 24 hours. We haven’t bothered with the rest of them, but I’m thinking scratching them all in one go might be one way to get a damn good night of humourous entertainment, if not any new sex suggestions!
Lousy list. It doesn’t have the Bible on it.
And that afterglow better last a lifetime – 'cause you’ve used up your coupon.
If you want your spouse to hate you, give a book filled with love coupons past their expiration date.
Or ones that say “May not be combined with other offers.”
Or ones that are void in your state.
Or they say “buy one get one free”.
A girlfriend from long ago once gave me a book of coupons. She made it herself. It was very sweet.
Unfortunately, she wrote those checks on an empty account. I’m still waiting for that backrub.
I liked the Shut The Fuck Up coupon.
They coupons like, “Although I WILL watch monday night football, I WILL NOT jump and down screaming, ‘Yeah! Suck it, Favre!’ while you’re trying to read.”
I’m seriously tempted to do that for next Valentine’s Day, but that’s because my girlfriend knows that I don’t like the day and have a bizarre sense of humour.
I would probably still have to tape them to the outside of an iPad to offset their effect, though.
Oh god. I roffeled.
I love Cracked.