The ABCs of The Straight Dope

A is for Addicted, which is what we’ve all become.
B is for Burn-Maker, which does wonders for office memos.
C is for Cecil, the Perfect Master.
D is for Dialectic, which hopefully takes place in Great Debates.
E is for Eve, my favorite poster.
F is for Foraminate, a handy euphemism for “fornicate,” as seen in the first SD book.
G is for God, who hates fundies.
H is for Halvsie, going 'round and around.
I is for Ignorance, which we’re still fighting.
J is for Jerk. Don’t be one.
K is for Kill, what the Taliban does to soft, fluffy innocent baby kittens. And women’s rights.
L is for Le Petomaine, an extraordinarily gifted showman.
M is for Moderators. They’re the best ever!
N is for Naked, which describes how I am right now.[sub]My boss just walked by. Trouble?[/sub]

O is for Opal. Hi!
P is for Preview. People should use it more often.
Q is for Quandary, in which I have found myself (because of the Naked thing).
R is for Rush, Coldfire’s favorite window-breakers.
S is for Shayna, who does a great job with the people’s page.
T is for Trained Statistician. Where have they all gone?
U is for Utopia, that ignorance-free land towards which we hopefully strive.
V is for vB code, a tutorial for which may be found here.
W is for Water, something we should drink lots of.
X is for XYer, another clever euphemism for males (thanks, Hamadryad!)
Y is for Yolk, the part of the egg Cecil ignored in his column on the Nutritional Content of Sperm (SD book 1).
Z is for Zenith, descriptive of the Perfect Master’s particular quality of human understanding.

I like most of it - except that W should be for WallyM7, whom we all still miss.

Cecil, he thinks–a lot!
Think about this, think about that, think about thinking in a thinking cap!
See Cecil think. Think, Cecil, think!

Ed Zotti, he edits!
Ed edits the columns for accuracy and narrative flow!
See Ed edit. Edit, Ed, edit!

Slug is the illustrator!
Slug makes the pictures explaining what Cecil wrote and Ed edited!
See Slug draw. Draw, Slug, draw!

The Cecil! He walks, he talks, he’s full of chalk. The lacteal fluid extracted from the doper of the bovine species is highly prolific to the Nth degree!

Roses to YOU, Albert!

Um, could U be for the Underbear, travellin’ the world?

[sub]All you need now is 24 more suggestions and your list will be perfect. NOT![/sub]

Redboss

[sub]I love youse all[/sub]