The alternative Spam thread

Hey, everyone, come see:

 Hot +5 Vorpal Sword Action! These are totally virgin swords, never used to slay anything, taking down their very first dragons! Those blades are gonna cut in deep past the scales, and you can see it all now for only $9.95 a month at www.hotvorpalblades.com

I think you get the picture: WHat’s your Spam-Spoof. Please, only imply the sexual aspects. :slight_smile:

Make her sick with your huge shed

She won’t be satisfied until you get a bigger shed!!! All-natural shed enlargement. Keep her going all nite long with extra tool and lawnmower storage capacity. SHE’LL BEG FOR MORE!!!

From: Kay Marte
Subject: <qpmzweytrbrtee+todd33rpm=98347tjkl>

You’ve never had hose like this! Shower yourself with aquatic goodness, with the WaterMaster 3000! You’ll squeal with delight everytime you turn it on! Impress your neighbors! Taunt your friends! Never again will you have to ask your flowers “are you MOIST yet?” You’ll KNOW…with the WaterMaster 3000!
From: Lefty Gonzales
Re: Get CORKED!

Get CORKED! Brewing supplies for amateurs and pros alike. Nothing says joy like a perfectly foamy head!
From: Your Favorite Impotentate
Re: Surprise Her In The Shower LOL!

Hello, you don’t know me. My name is Todd, and I am not attached to any embassy, nor am I married to any royalty from Nigeria. Give me money or the gnats of a thousand camels will infest your armpits…I mean, any help you can send along will be appreciated, because I don’t have NEARLY enough dollar bills to light up these offensively large Cuban cigars…I mean, we’re strapped for cash and trying to leave the country, but when I reascend my non-existent throne, I’ll remember you fondly the next time I’m crushing a peasant’s head…er, I mean, money’s good, gimme some.

ANCIENT SECRETS YOU USE TO SCARE WOMEN WITH THE ENORMOUS SIZE OF YOUR NIGERIAN BANK ACCOUNT!!!

SEE HORNY LESBIANS SUCK COCK!!!

(both stolen from the boards somewhere… I think the second was actual spam)