The Amazing Race 3/18: "Uglier Than a Mud Rail Fence" : LIKELY DELAYED

Looks like March Madness is going to delay this week’s episode by a good margin, the current game on CBS tipped off right around 5:30 ET. I’m adjusting my DVR to record an extra hour already.

Looks like the game is over now (7:35) but I wish they’d freaking just start 60 Minutes already!

When delays like this happen, I usually just give up and watch it on the CBS website on Monday morning.

And that’s why you don’t jump on the Mat.

When the Feds were doing the Roadblock, shouting “you’re good at targets”, was anybody else thinking “for a kindergarten teacher”?

I would have so kicked ass on this leg. I’ve been to Neuschwanstein, and I curl.

Stones or beards?

Stones. I hadn’t thought of the other meaning, actually. Good catch.

Did anyone else think the witch was going to turn out to be someone famous under the makeup, or show up as the greeter, or something? She seemed to get more screen time than the usual colorful locals.

Interesting bunching at the beginning, or lack thereof, really. Seemed like it tightened things up, but not so much that it was all one pack.

Oh, shoot. I’m out of town and I’m sure TiVo stopped right when it was supposed to, which is probably way early.

I’ve never watched it online, but I will try tomorrow.

I figured that was what you meant (and actually had a mental image of the shuttle’s robot arm sliding a curling stone into space while reading it)…I was just making a funny. :slight_smile:

Decent ep. I would have picked gingerbread…and I would have been wrong. The beard thing was clearly the easier task.

IIRC, if team Border Patrol makes another 1st Place next week, that’ll be a TAR record. I don’t believe there have been any teams that have made 4 1st places in a row (the key is “in a row”. I think one team got like 6 or 7 1st places, but not consecutively. ) They’re cocky, but they’re also mostly low-drama and may have something to be cocky about.

I’m trying to get offended at team Kentucky for praying, but “Lord, give me strength” strikes me as way, WAY different from “Lord, cheat on my behalf”. So…IMO, they get slack (also “Lord, don’t let me die of a heart attack in Bavaria” is also ok.) Also, they get points for having fun with the yodelling (and apparently really having fun, not just pretending for the camera, given that they were yodelling for a while after.)

I’m not sure what the ousted women thought their narrative was. “We wear pink lipstick(?) and have kids.” so…yay? Seriously…what’s the connotation they’re trying to imply with “pink lipstick”? Sluts? Trailer Trash? I never thought about pink lipstick one way or the other. Perhaps this is a girl thing? If so, can someone with ovaries translate?

I still want to know if I should be rooting for Rachel to get a smack across the mouth or if I should feel contempt for TAR for putting her on. Her little meltdown at the witche’s cauldron was obnoxious–she seems like a kind of retarded Veruca Salt (“I waaaant it now!”) where she throws tantrums if everything isn’t totally perfect.

Ralph and Vanessa were annoying this round,but to be fair, they were annoying in a healthier way (IMO) than either the military guy and his wife or Rachel and her enabler have been. I thought the bickering was annoying but at least they recognized that they were both just being cranky and the “I’m mad at you but I love you” during the curling challenge was healthy.

I don’t see why team FBI thought “I can shoot well” would translate into “I can curl too!” Bullets and gnomes are two different things ladies.

And, heh–ok, it was pure product placement, but “Fling the gnomes across the ice” was possibly the best use of the damned gnomes ever. Kudos Amazing Producers. That was an Amazing product placement.

In the previews, were the guys getting their chest hair ripped off again? If so, one of the two Border Patrol guys is in for a world of hurt if his chest is as hairy as his arms. (Looking at it again, I thnk they’re just getting shaved.)

I was glad to see the military pilot not be absolutely pissed because they came in 4th. Maybe he’s learning that as long as you aren’t last, the only time your placement counts is on the last leg.


For those DVRing at home, CBS will basketball coverage next Sunday. And there is an excellent chance of delays.

I like the tasks in this episode. I would have no idea how to style a beard.

Gorgeous scenery in the Bavarian Alps.

Can someone PLEASE reassure me that Annoying Bint Rachel was being facetious when she said “I don’t know what a beard is”? :smack:

I liked the semi-bunching at the begining that still left ambiguity as to who was where when. Producers! Take note! This is far more dramatic than everyone ending up at the airport over the course of an evening!

And you know, I was really all set from the get-go to dislike Team Guido, but… They’re growing on me. They’re not completely annoying, they seem to be a strong team, and race well. Most confusing.

A beard is a slang term for the phony heterosexual partner of a closeted gay man. The implication is, she’s a beard.

There was almost exactly NINE HOURS between the start times of the Border Patrol guys and the country guys. That’s gotta be some kind of record.

I thought it looked like the racers will have to shave some locals, but I’m not positive.

Looked more like they had to clean the muck that the denizens soak in at the spa (some sort of mud/algae soak IIRC, supposed to be good for the skin and allat) off some very hairy dudes. Judging by the furriness of the pictured locals, that could be a heck of a task.

Then again, maybe they get to shave a bunch of Azerbaijani guys. Also a heck of a tesk. :eek:

This is one of the few episodes featuring a montage of the second-to-last team having navigation difficulties and the last-place team plugging along, where the last-place team actually got the the mat first. Something to be said about building up expectations over multiple sesons.

Taxi Assessment:

Stuck in the Desert and Officially Detained - or, Philiminated with extreme prejudice.
Misa & Maiya and Dave & Cherie and Elliot & Andrew - Already eliminated.
Kerri & Stacy (down from “Flat Tire”) - Halfway through this episode I realized that about the only time we see Kerri & Stacy is when they’re having some sort of car or navigation trouble. That made me feel pretty clever for having finally realized the common theme of their appearances, and even cleverer when Nary & Jami slipped into second-to-last-place after Kerri & Stacy had some more navigational troubles.

Flat Tire - or, not likely to get anywhere soon.
No one right now.

Stopping for Gas - or, not broken-down, exactly, but not a good sign.
Brendon & Rachel (holding steady) - Team placement has been kind of odd this season, with two teams that look to be the best (Art & J.J. and Dave & Rachel) leading the pack, a third (Joey & Danny) coming on strong, and everyone else just sort of consistently trailing. Brendon & Rachel, however, have been less consistently trailing that the others. But…well, no other team gets all out of sorts when presented with an easy and clearly defined task such as making a gingerbread house. I’m a bit surprised this team still has the stamina to get from Point A to Point B after expending so much energy on needless breakdowns.

"Rapido! Por Favor?" - or, making meaningless ineffectual comments from the back seat, but in no immediate danger.
Vanessa & Ralph (up from “Stopping”) - Blabbity-blab, interpersonal drama, blabbity-blah. A decent leg for Vanessa & Ralph gives them their first top-three finish, despite carping at each other. They were of course helped by their correct choice of castle, so I’ll be interested to see how they fare when most of the rest of the teams don’t make a major mistake.
Mark & Bopper (holding steady) - Mark & Bopper finished well ahead of last place, despite having to complete a Speed Bump that didn’t look all that challenging, but did look like it would take some time and concentration to complete.
Nary & Jamie (holding steady) - Ouch. Traveling ot the wrong castle is just embarassing, and waiting for the guided tour just adds insult. At least Nary & Jamie weren’t alone in making their mistake, but it’s telling how easily fourth-place Dave & Rachel pulled ahead of competing-for-last-place Nary & Jamie.

In the Passing Lane - or, ahead of the pack, but not quite comfortably.
Joey & Danny (up from “Stopping”) - OK already. Three top-three finishes in a row is enough for me to move this team up into potential final-three material. Note, too, that Joey & Danny have been getting better with each leg. Plus it tickles me that their experience clubbing actually translates into a skill that got them through the Detour task.
Dave & Rachel (holding steady) - Dave seemed a lot more steady this leg, so maybe he is indeed manually adjusting his attitude. Dave & Rachel came in fourth this leg, despite making a fairly major error in going to the wrong castle (an error shared by most other teams) and hanging around for the guided tour (an error shared by Nary & Jamie)

Cruisin’ with Earl - or, drivin’ on the shoulder, takin’ shortcuts, and generally kickin’ butt.
Art & J.J. (holding steady) - Art & J.J. once again started this leg far ahead of the second-place team; once again some of the other teams caught up in a bunch; and once again Art & J.J. somehow got out ahead for a first place finish. That bodes well for them in the final episode. Not only do they have three firsts in a row, but they’ve never finished outsde of the top three, and because of last week’s fast forward, they’ll likely have the option in the final episode of who’ll perform the Roadblock. Now. it does seem to me that the Amazing Editors are intentionally underscoring Art & J.J.'s cockiness, perhaps to draw a contrast to some later moment of horrible ineptitude; but if that moment exists we haven’t seen any sign of it yet.

I’m saddened that the gnomes weren’t made out of dry plaster, so that they cracked into pieces when colliding. That would have been even better.

Yes, but why did Rachel say it? I doubt she was implying that she herself was a beard.

Was I the only one who kept hearing the voice of the gnome go “wheeeeeee!” every time somebody shot one down the ice?

Also, record mood swing time for Sparkles. That person must have some redeeming qualities but I am at a loss as to what they may be.

Why does Rachel always wear that green sparkly shirt? Is that something from Big Brother?

I’m also liking Team Jersey more with each episode.