Yessirree, our noble new Pit mod, Giraffe, would like you all to believe that he’s just like the rest of us.
(Well, just like the rest of us that have immensely long necks, legs that go up to THERE! and 18-inch prehensile tongues.)
Just like us, you know, a civilized fellow, brought up among civilized folks.
But I have PROOF, brothers and sisters, PROOF that Giraffe was actually born into an aboriginal tribe in the wilds of Africa, captured by intrepid explorers, subdued at the risk of their limbs and lives (not to mention his own as well), and carried off, bound and drugged, to a re-education camp (pseudonymously called a “zoo”) , and there, slowly and painfully (some instructors, alas, were of the “spare the rod and spoil the giraffe” school), taught how to “pass” in civilized society.
Don’t believe me? Well! Herewith, I offer the amazing tale of his capture.