The "Anything But The Election" Thread

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I will read the whole thread before posting.
I will read the whole thread before posting.
I will read the whole thread before posting.
I will read the whole thread before posting.
I will read the whole thread before posting.
I will read the whole thread before posting.
I will read the whole thread before posting.
I will read the whole thread before posting.
I will read the whole thread before posting.
I will read the whole thread before posting.
I will read the whole thread before posting.
I will read the whole thread before posting.
I will read the whole thread before posting.
I will read the whole thread before posting.
I will read the whole thread before posting.
I will read the whole thread before posting.

I’ve had the song “Sweet Caroline” in my head since last night and I can’t get it out. Please help. I’m ready to shoot myself.

My car’s steering wheel is brown. It fits my hands rather nicely.
I burped a little while ago.

It got down to 42 degrees last night in Fremont. Can you believe it? 42 DEGREES!! I had to put socks on.

I threw up last night. Then I woke up at three-thirty this morning. It was 48 degrees outside at 7am.

Today is my husband’s birthday. We’re going to go out to eat somewhere. He gets to pick, so long as there are NO TELEVISIONS!

I’m giving the dreaded State Tests to my 8th graders today. Pity them. But I do have two hours this afternoon that won’t have to take the tests, due to the goofy schedule necessary to make this square testing peg fit into our round schedule hole, so any suggestions out there for what I should do with those kids? They deserve a break of some kind.

I won’t be able to get on the computer very much for a little while :frowning:

Maybe a movie to take their minds off of it?

Kythereia, where are you running off to? You just got here.

If you’re ON the computer, sweetheart, you’re doing something wrong.

I had a very easy drive in to work today; seems the three Biggest employers in my metropolitan area have given the day off to most of their employees to go exercise their franchises. Personally, I think that kind of thing is best done in the privacy of one’s own home, but I suppose they’ve done studies of some kind showing that flabby franchises are a danger to the bottom line. It’s nice when big companies take an interest in the well-being of their employees, and I hope their franchises get all exercised and strong and big and buff and, uh, engorged, and . . . um, throbbing . . . and, uh . . .
what?

A movie to take their minds off the State Test? Great Idea! Let’s see…hmmmm

All the President’s Me–?

Mr. Smith goes to…er…um…

Any ideas?

I’ll be in Frederick. Is that near any Dopers?

Yes! Maybe that will keep me from thinking about [that… thing].

Sweet Caroline
Ba-ba-bum

That’s all I know. It’s no use. I’m doomed.

Hm…8th graders. I have one of those in my house. What an obnoxious pa…I mean. They can be very challenging. 10 Things I Hate About You would at least give them an introduction to Shakespeare. But the boys probably wouldn’t enjoy it. A Knight’s Tale? Chaucer and jousting. Or you could wander over to Cafe Society, check The Movie Game thread. I have no idea how many movie’s we’ve mentioned. A LOT.

My parents have offered to come visit me for Thanksgiving.

I turned in my degree paperwork this morning. Assuming I pass all my classes (a pretty safe assumption), I’ll be graduating next May with a BA in English and a BFA in Studio Art.

I have the 100% money-back-guaranteed cure for having a song stuck in your head.

Sing out loud the following:

It’s a world of laughter a world of tears
It’s a world of hope and a world of fears
There’s so much that we share
That it’s time we’re aware
It’s a small world after all

It’s a small world after all
It’s a small world after all
It’s a small world after all
It’s a small, small world
Problem solved.
How to get THAT song out of your head, I don’t know. Hey, but at least it’s not Sweet Caroline, right???

I’m on Day Four of my I’m-Not-Talking-To-You-Because-I’m-Pissed-At-You stance with my psyudo boyfriend…

four days, three hours, twelve minutes and six seconds. seven seconds. eight seconds.

One of my coworkers is going through a really rough time. His wife of 16 years has had a middle-age crisis and has left him and their children to go shack up with an old flame, who is also married with young children. Nasty Wife told my friend exactly what she was going to do. She and her fuckbuddy are in a hotel room in New Orleans at the moment. Fuckbuddy’s wife called my friend yesterday to ask whether the two of them were together. She told him that there is a $300 charge on her credit card for sex toys and bondage gear. So she cancelled the cards and emptied out the bank accounts and reported the guy to his superiors - in the military. Apparently, adultery is conduct unbecoming an officer, so he may think he’s getting screwed today, but wait until he goes back to the base. His career is over. This does prove that people who behave badly sometimes get what’s coming to them. My friend says he’s going back and forth between suicidal depression and blind rage. I wish there was something I could tell him that would make it hurt less, but there isn’t.

I told this to my wife last night. Her reaction? She kissed me and hugged me for all I’m worth and thanked me for being normal, and such a good husband. She is staying married to me. (Yay!) I reminded her again that this was the same reason why I wanted to marry her, because she’s normal, too. I could tell early on.

So, how’s your day going?