I’m sick of all these threads in which people just yammer on and on about the election. “Why not use the popular vote?” “Bush is a chimpanzee!” “Kerry’s face looks like ass!”
::sigh::
So I hereby declare this to be the “Anything But The Election” thread. What you can talk about:
[ul]
[li]Anything[/li][/ul]
What you can’t talk about:
[ul]
[li]The election[/li][/ul]
Let me give you a few examples:
[ul]
[li]You can talk about how you read a really cool article in the newspaper this morning. Unless that article was about the election. Then you can’t talk about it.[/li][li]You can talk about how you saw a squirrel do something really funny this morning. Unless you saw the squirrel while walking to the poll to cast your vote in the election. Then you can’t talk about the squirrel because the conversation will surely turn to how squirrels, through their pesky nibbling, are going to cause massive power outages and screw up all the electronic voting machines.[/li][li]You can talk about your erection because, you see, even though erection sounds like election, it’s not really the same thing. Unless you got an erection while thinking about voting for John Kerry. That’s just sick, and icky and wrong, you bestialist. Even if you could talk about that in this thread, we don’t want to hear about it.[/li][li]You can talk about your pubic hair shaving habits. Unless you shaved your pubic hair into a “W,” and you think you’re all witty because you’re like “Hey, I’ve got a W Bush!” That’s too close to talking about the election. (You may, however, send photos my way.)[/li][/ul]
So have at it, boys and girls, donkeys and elephants, right-wing fascist bastards and left-wing communist scumbags! Let’s have a totally, completely, 100% election-free thread!
I love how every scumbag is automatically a communist. What, there aren’t any capitalist scumbags?
Actually, what I wanted to post here was that I was driving to work this morning and, well, I leave pretty early (about 6 a.m.), so there’s not much traffic, and I’m driving down the street (which has three lanes in each direction) and there are three cars ahead of me, one in each lane, all driving next to each other, and all about the same speed, which, unfortunately, was about 10 mph slower than I usually travel on this street at this time of the morning.
Oh, shoot, I just remembered I was going to post in that procrastination thread. Oh, well. I’ll do it later.
Anyway, I was stuck behind these three morons for 2 miles. By the time one of them turned off and I was able to get in their lane and get ahead, I was almost at the freeway already, and so frustrated I was ready to eat my steering wheel!
This morning after I got done v…, oops… I mean, after I finished an errand, I went through the drive-thru at Burger King. I had a hamburger and a Cherry Coke for breakfast.
I was going to have toast for breakfast, but instead I elected to have cereal. My mind was in a swing state over whether to add cream to my coffee but I elected not to.
I polled my coworkers to see if anyone wanted to get lunch today and we elected to get Mexican food.
After work today, I need to carry a bush out back, that I dug out of my front yard. It’s leaves are in a red state right now.
My dog seemed to be in a blue state this morning, so I took him to a vet who put him up on a platform to examine him.
You know, there are just somethings in this world that you just can’t throw out there without an explanation. This would be one of those.
But anyway, I just want to let everyone know that I am in love. Deeply, truely in love and that the LOMF and myself are taking steps to be together soon. I am so happy I could just burst.
I had eggs over-medium for breakfast. I usually avoid them due to the increased yolk vs clothes hazard but I threw caution to the wind.
The Jets beat the crap outta Miami last night.
The book I started last night is just terrible*. Help me out, I’m off to the library, any suggestions? I need an exceptionally good book for tonight because… [self censored to comply with the OP].
*“Listening Woman” by Tony Hillerman. I usually like his books but this one is a dog.
