The biggest lies.

Not necessarily in any order:

  • The cheque is in the mail

  • I love you

  • I promise not to come in your mouth

… feel free to add more …

I’m from the government and I’m here to help you.

  • God spoke to me, and now I’ll tell you what God demands that we must do

From a doctor or dentist: “Now, this won’t hurt a bit.”

Computers make my life easier.

New and Improved!

no, honey, I swear you’re not fat!

It’s not you. It’s me.

I’m fine, really.

I don’t mean to offend but…

I’m not racist but…

I swear, this has never happened before.

It won’t happen again.

One size fits all. Though that one’s going the way of the dodo.

From before Rachel let the cat out of the bag: It’s rather common, it happens to every guy and it’s not a big deal.

[sup]I can’t believe I know a Friends quote.[/sup]

I knew it!!!

Righto Ms. Chanandalar Bong.

The government can’t do anything right.
It’s pointless to try.
I’ll love you forever.

We care what you think.
Boys will be boys.
Girls will be girls.
Guys don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses.
Boys don’t cry.
We just went out on a date, we didn’t do anything else.
No child left behind. (Especially considering the horror with Kansas schools lately. hangs head in shame)

Your call is very important to us.

I’m going to quit.

(In response to “What’s wrong?”) Nothing.

Must-see TV.

“That’s a good idea”
“I’m sorry, but…”

And I’m glad to see you!

I’m no longer infected.