A shit that would strike fear in all of the shits that were shat before it.
A colassal shit.
Grand in proportion.
And as I sat there, red-faced and straining against the immense girth of the behemoth as it attempted to escape the confinement of my rectum, to be free, floating in the spinning waters that awaited it, I couldn’t help but consider upping my fiber intake. This enormous shit, so great in size, was doing its absolute best to tear the delicate tissue of my anus. But I did not give up. Straining against the pressure building within the delicate walls of my rectum, I used all of my might to push this monster out of my anal birth canal.
Sweat beaded on my forehead as I attempted to birth this giant without an episiotomy.
Needles of pain radiated from the delicate tissue of my rectum as the Titanic-sized load slowly worked its way through, in a painful dance as it hovered precariously over the spinning waters which awaited it.
Finally, teetering on the brink of falling, gravity worked it’s magic. The glue which held the shit together slowly began to weaken, and the shit began to slowly break away. As it begain to make it’s descent, a sense of relief overcame me. Finally, the shit became one with the spinning waters which awaited it. And, as if a final goodbye, it splashed some water up at me. Almost like a game one might play with friends at a swimming pool.
And wiping the sweat off of my brow, I smiled to myself, knowing that I had persevered over the challenge handed to me.
And despite a valiant effort, the shit failed to win.
Hey, Kallisti, now that you have enlightened us with your wit, why don’t you go somwhere they might actually appreciate you, like the Jack Chick boards.
Not where I am - we have a week and a half until classes are done for the semester. That’s college age - the HS kids are in school until late May, so it could be spring break time for them.
Yours was born on the 21st? Mine was an Easter baby! And it was every bit as large as yours, probably bigger, parental pride and all. It was so big I had to call my wife to show her the, er, fruit of my labors and her cooking. Surprisingly she was not as thrilled as I.
Mine also, was an Easter baby. I also noticed, that in general, other people aren’t quite as fond of my child as I.
Quite sad.
Since this thread has seemingly disintegrated into name calling on basis of sexual preference, I am going to request to have it locked down. While I am homosexual myself, and wasn’t upset by that comment, I can see why other people would be, and will request a lockdown.
has earned you an Official Warning. Hope you’re glad. Next time you cross the line, you’re out. That is, if I don’t find anything else that already crosses the line in your other posts.