Every one hundred years, the unthinkable happens, and it’s about to happen to the floating, self-sustaining Oceanic colony Aquatic Shore! When Aquatic Shore resident William Peters (Orlando Bloom) disappears one fine morning and all that is found is a mauled portion of his spleen, the inhabitants of this forward-thinking community are up in arms. What could have done this to Mr. Peters? Flighty oceanic historian Heather Whimsy (Sarah Michelle Gellar) thinks she knows, it’s the return of the Kraken! Heather’s research point to a horrible legend, where every one hundred years, the Kraken emerges from the depths of the sea to feed for three days before returning to his hibernation. And this time, it looks like the Kraken has decided to feed on Aquatic Shore! Heather enlists the confidence of Aquatic Shore Mayor Sam Smuggins (Johnny Depp) and together, they must unite the divided colony and defend themselves from the onslaught of this horrible, gigantic feeding machine! Don’t miss the incredible special effects in the new blockbuster, Slayers of the Caribbean!
Chuck Norris stars as Seagull Man, half seagull, half man, all scientific abomination! When Professor Kitsy Bungess (Sandra Bullock) accidentally created seagull man in her laboratory in the Sleepy Little Town of Oppression, California, she shunted his romantic advances. That hurt Seagull Man, and he has vowed revenge on Kitsy, Oppression, and all of humanity! As Seagull Man attempts to make the Earth a man-free zone, only Professor Bungess and her partially blind great uncle Roger (Adam West) can stop him! Feel the excitement! Witness the brutality! Fear the birds! Don’t miss The Unspeakable Nasty Thing, your life may never be the same!
When bright-eyed developer Winston Wicket (George Forman) bought the long-shut down Eagle-Eye Cherry Mental Institute in order to turn it into a shopping mall, nobody told him about the scientific experiments that had taken place in those dark halls years ago. But when workers demolishing the building begin to mysteriously turn up gutted, questions of the hospital’s past are raised. Winston turns to retired former Institute doctor Edna Slippy (Janet Reno) for answers, and tells him that their greatest fears have been realized. The scientific abomination created ages ago (Michael Jackson) has been awoken from the construction, and this hideous mistake won’t stop until they are all dead! Don’t miss the exciting gore-fest ***That… Thing… You Know… The Scary Thing! ***
The statues of Easter Island solemnly stare into the distance without giving away a hint of their true purpose. In the dark horror tale, One Step Over The Line, this purpose is made all too clear. High-tech millionaire Abu Dhukhata (Thomas Jefferson) is sailing around the world with his trophy wife Betty Smith (Mrs. Butterworth) when the drop anchor at Easter Island for the night. A local Easter Island boy (Dat Phan) offers to take them to the sacred statues and show them something off of the normal tourist path. Abu and Betty eagerly agree and the three set off. What they don’t know, what they can’t know, is that this is no ordinary Easter Island boy, and he isn’t taking them to a normal statue, but a hidden sacred statue. And the boy is leading them to their death! For this statue, when rubbed properly, disturbs the slumber of the legendary Mole of Easter Island, a monster of evil with a taste for human flesh. As they approach their own doom, Abu and Betty have no idea of the horror that awaits them! Will they figure it out before rubbing the statue? See this shocking new epic tale of human misery and find out!
Building an underwater mental hospital seemed like a good idea at the time to Texas billionaire Hank W. Tree (Mark Wahlberg). Sure the pesky environmentalist Sky Westerberg (Max von Sydow) continued to warn him about the fragile jellyfish ecosystem at his building site of the coast of Texas, but who ever cared about a couple of damn fish, right? So the hospital was built, the fragile ecosystem was destroyed, and Hank had his underwater loony bin. But then things went bad. Scores of angry, dangerous, venomous Jellyfish began to attack the hospital, clogging the pipes and suffocating the patients. With nowhere to turn and his investment becoming a disaster, Hank calls in noted Jellyfish expert Susan Floobie (Alyssa Milano), who realizes that these Jellyfish are trying to destroy the hospital and everyone inside in order to save their young. But now Hank, Susan and Sky are trapped inside the sinking hospital, the halls are flooding, and the angry jellyfish have found a way inside!! Terror has no backbone in the wet new thriller, The Reckoning!
When Mad Scientist Susan Cordermanson (Melissa Q. Melissa) came upon the truth, even she was stunned. Stonehenge, those mystical, silent stones, were not the astronomical observatory as believed, but in fact were an ancient mechanism to summon an all-powerful creature, the Dragon. Armed with the truth and her trusty servant Ludo (Pippy the Rabid Monkey), she entered the sacred circle, made the incantations, and, with a tremendous and earth-shattering rumble, brought the Dragon forth onto the world! But the Dragon wasn’t happy to have its slumber disturbed, and it soon took its anger out on poor Ludo by eating him. Susan fled into the nearby village of Champignon, where, with the help of the village elder Servus Snippery (Dr. Alfred X. Cambridge), she had to make a stand against this horror she had summoned! A horror with one purpose on its terrible mind, to consume her horribly! You won’t believe your eyes when you see the amazing new cgi-heavy feature, Fool Me Twice, Won’t Get Fooled Again!
The accident at the nuclear power plant in the Sleepy Little Town of Kirkutcsk, Slovania created a radioactive monster. The township was fine with that. But one year later, the radioactive abomination returns to his place of birth for one reason, to feed! As the entire town unsuccessfully tries to combat the scientific monstrosity, one plumber (Drew Carey), one short-order cook (Loretta Lynn) and one mute hairstylist (Jimmy, the One-Legged Negro) hold the key to survival. As time runs out, they must find a way to lure the creature into a vat of liquid goo! Will they succeed? Will Kirkutcsk be saved? It’s serious radio-action in the new thriller The Thing That Thumbed over Thu…um, some city with “Th” in it!
(I mean no offense with “Jimmy, the One-Legged Negro.” I was inspired by the time when African Americans were used as comic relief in films-such as Stephen Fetchit. An amputee black man probably would have been even more hilarious in those days. Now, it isn’t.)
In her most touching, stunning and amazing performance yet, Miranda Richardson stars as aged Vampire Druella, who lives peacefully in the dark and forbidding Gothomold Forest in southern Romania. When a cruel and heartless land developer, Slavo Dunnovich, (Rowan Atkinson), begins to level the forest to make room for a new multi-plex theater complex, Druella has to protect her children and their home! And so begins her crusade to personally suck the blood out of every company worker she can. As the bodies begin to pile up, only a plucky negotiator, (Stephen Fry), can stop the slaughter and save the forest for everyone! See this titanic struggle in Horror in Adderville!
When Head Psychiatrist Helen Masticate (Asia Carrera) broke ground for a new wing at the Morro Bay Institute for the Clinically Disturbed, she had no idea she was breaking holy ground! As the bulldozers defile the ancient Indian Graveyard, the ghosts of the lost tribe awake, infiltrate and haunt the halls of the Institute! Soon, the only hope for the inmates is a mystical Eskimo named Svengi (Vincent D’Onofrio) and his mute Sherpa (Max Perlich) who must stop the ghosts before everyone already not insane is driven hopelessly mad! Terror knows no bounds in the chilling new epic, Lust For Death!