I need help with the complete lyrics of particular version of the children’s rhyme that begins:
"The captain had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
The steamboat went to heaven
The captain went to…
Hello operator give me number nine
If you disconnect me, give me back my dime.
Two old ladies sitting in a ditch
One said to the other “you dirty son of a”
Beech-nut chewing gum
Seven sticks to a pack…"
And that’s where I fail. I’ve Googled the lyrics and found all sots of variants, but not this particular one- (or something close???)
So anyone grow up in Western NY in the mid to late '70s and can help me out???
Unfortunately those threads don’t have the version I’m looking for. Apparently we sang some totally rare version that no one seems to know.
Thanks anyway! I’ll keep searching…
Considering that this is something that was passed from one 6, 7, or 8 year-old to another, I’d be surprised if there was any one “official” version.
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You are right about that- I’m trying to get a hold of the version I remember from when I was little- it’s amazing how many versions there are! I was hoping someone knew the version I remembered, but I’m getting discouraged!
Miss Mary had a steamboat,
The steamboat had a bell,
The steamboat went to heaven
And Miss Mary went to
Hello operator,
Please give me number nine,
And if they do not answer,
I’ll show you my
Behind the 'frigerator
There was a piece of glass,
Miss Suzie sat upon it
And she cut her big fat
Ask me no more questions,
I’ll tell you no more lies,
The boys are in the bathroom
And they’re zipping down their
Flies are in the city,
The bees are in the park,
The boys and girls are kissing
in the d-a-r-k DARK!
Boy, we were easily amused.
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This is basically the version we sang when I was a kid.
For some reason, I have this wild belief that this music was used in some Loony Tunes cartoons as incidental music. I have no evidence with which to back this up.
Damned if I know why I’ve retained all of this.
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Probably because you learned it when you were in the single digits. It would take me a while if I had to learn it today and I’d have forgotten it in a few months!
The version I knew ended after “ask me no more questions, I’ll tell you no more lies” with: “But if you sit in a bucket of shit be sure to close your eyes!”
