Here’s a song I remember from my childhood. How do you remember it? Where did it come from?
Miss Suzy had a steamboat,
The steamboat had a bell,
When Suzy went to heaven,
The steamboat went to -
Hello operator,
Please give me number 9,
And if you disconnect me,
I’ll kick you in -
Behind the yellow curtain
There was a piece of glass,
Miss Suzy sat upon it,
And hurt her big fat -
Ask me no more questions,
I’ll tell you no more lies,
The boys are in the bathroom
Doing up their -
Flies are in the city,
The bees are in the park,
The boys and girls are having fun
And necking in the dark-dark-dark!
Alternate version (different tune):
Three Irishmen, three Irishmen
Were digging in a ditch
One called the other
A dirty son of a -
Beehive corn syrup
Five cents a glass
If you don’t like it
Shove it up your -
Ask me no questions
I’ll tell you no lies,
If you get hit with a bucket of shit
Be sure to close your eyes!
Sounds like one of a dozen or so semi-vulgar tunes that we 5th & 6th grade boys would sing on the schoolbus back in the late 70’s. Here’s another classic:
Miss Molly had a steamboat,
The steamboat had a bell,
When Molly went to heaven,
The steamboat went to -
Hello operator,
Give me number 9,
And if you disconnect me,
I’ll kick your big -
Behind the old piano,
There was a piece of glass,
Miss Molly sat upon it,
And hurt her little -
Ask me no more questions,
I’ll tell you no more lies,
The boys are in the bathroom
Doing up their -
Flies are in the city,
The bees are in the park,
Miss Molly and her boyfriend
Are kissing in the d-a-r-k, d-a-r-k,
Dark, dark, dark!
I actually didn’t hear that version until grade 8, when I met a girl who went to a different elementary school. The version from my elementary school ended with:
Behind the old piano, [or sometimes ‘iron curtain’]
There was a piece of glass,
Miss Molly sat upon it,
And hurt her little -
Ask me for a muffin,
I’ll give you some dry bread,
And if you do not like it
You can go and soak your head.
Somebody did a PhD dissertation (of course) on these childhood rhyming things. I remember it much like Matt told it, but my seven year old daughter sings it (with the same clapping game) with a verse about plastic surgery I think. When she’s up I’ll get her version and post it here. Interestingly, in other English speaking countries you hear the same songs with slightly different versions too.
Two Irishmen Two Irishmen
Were digging in a ditch.
One called the other one
A dirty son of a…
Peter Murphy had a dog,
A very fine dog was he.
He gave it to a lady friend
To keep her company.
She taught it, she taught it,
She taught it how to jump.
It jumped right up her panty hose
And bit her on the…
Country boy from Illinois
Was sitting on a rock,
Along came a bumblebee and
Stung him on the…
Cocktails, gingerale,
Five cents a glass.
And if you don’t believe me,
Shove it up your…
Ask me no more questions,
I’ll tell you no more lies.
And if you get hit with
A bucket of shit,
Be sure to close your eyes!
the boys are in the bathroom,
making chocolate pies
and lemonaaaaaaaade . . .
And then there was
bo bo skee watten tatten
eh eh eh eh boom boom boom
itty bitty watten tatten
bo bo skee watten tatten
bo bo skee watten tatten
boom!
And I remember something about a rhyme where Miss Suzy had a baby, put him in the tub, the baby drank the water and ate the bathtub, whereupon, Miss Suzy called the doctor. Anyone remember that?
My version was similar to Lisa’s but it was still Miss Susie. And the last verse went as follows:
The cows are in the meadows
Eating chocolate pies.
There is a new flavor
Cherry coconut
And if you do not like it
I’ll shove it up your…
Butt.
MOM!
I am not sure of the question here, but it has many earlier variations like many folk songs. The really strange thing about children’s dirty folk songs, is that children keep it alive passing it down to eachother rather than being taught to them by their parents or music teachers.
I remember the Bo bo skee watten totten (sp?). There were many others. Tracing the history of folk songs is oftentimes interesting. I play a lot of folk songs (around 200) and as you go around, the words and melodies aren’t always exactly the same, nor are the chords. They are all recognizable as the same song though. I could talk about this all day, but I would rather address Matt’s specific question, if he has one.
HUGS!
Sqrl
Gasoline: As an accompaniement to cereal it made a refreshing change. Glen Baxter
Oops. Remembered one more verse. I’m not sure I’m remembering the exact money amounts. Does anybody know if there was some actual treatment between the previous verse I gave and this one?
A dollar for the doctor.
A nickel for the nurse.
Nothing for the lady
With the alligator purse.
This is interesting. The version I learned was almost exactly like Zulu’s, with the addition of Fretful Porcupine’s verses, except that the first verse went like this:
Miss Suzy had a stinkbug
The stinkbug had a smell
Miss Suzy went to heaven
The stinkbug went to-
Hello, operator…
My poor misspent childhood… I had to learn this rhyme from “Kate and Ally,” and it went something like:
Mary had a steamboat,
The steamboat had a bell,
Mary went to heaven,
And the steamboat when to…
Hello operator,
give me number 9,
if you don’t give it to me,
I’ll kick you in the…
Behind the refridgerator
There is a piece of glass
Mary sat upon it
And cut her little…
Ask me no more questions
I’ll tell you no more lies
Boys are in the restroom
Zipping up their…
Flies are in the honey,
Bees are in the park,
Boys and girls are kissing
in the d-a-r-k dark!
A friend did tell me something that ended with the “If you get hit with a bucket of shit” line, but I can’t remember the rest.
“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy
It just occurred to me that the tune for this song is pretty similar, if not identical, to “The Merry Go Round Broke Down,” popularly known as the theme from “Looney Tunes” and “Merry Melodies.” In fact, in an early Daffy Duck, he sings this little ditty to that tune:
My name is Daffy Duck,
some people say I’m goony,
But just because I’m daffy doesn’t
mean I’m looney-toony
Oh you can’t bounce a meatball,
try with all your might
Turn up the radio
I want to fly a kite
. . . there is another verse ending in, “Please pass the ketchup, I think it’s going to rain,” but I can’t recall the first two lines.
We played this one, too, and it was the most complex of all of the playground hand games. There were crossovers, eyes closed, repetitions, and all sorts of other things. If you could do this one, you were sooo cool…
As for Miss Suzy, she had a steamboat, the glass was behind the 'fridgerator, and she broke her “ask”.