The Case of the Projectile Poo, staring our new daughter

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

On February 16 I found myself holding some little creature they call a daughter. So now after two weeks at home Iris and I have finally settled down a bit.

So here she is Sabina Kathleen. At least I hope she is since I don’t know if the link will work or not. We liked the name Sabina and Kathleen was my mother’s name who died at the same time she was conceived.

So what’s with the projectile poo? Well everyone I’ve talked to said be careful if you have a boy because of the fountain. Well we have a girl so I wasn’t too worried. She has peed on me, but a couple of days after we brought her home we were changing her. Well there was a fart, don’t know where she got that from, then a stream of poop that went at least four feet. It got over everything, our new playpen/changing table, our dinner trays, and my cell phone. So while we were laughing she did it again. I never knew that poo could fly so far.

So be forewarned new parents, no one I’ve ever talked to warned me of the projectile poo, but it can happen to you.

2

Welcome to daddyhood, Edward. Little Shayla Kathleen is on day five of the Stomach Virus Express. My wife and I are starting to take bets on where each feeding will wind up. Will this one be vomit or diarrhea? If it’s vomit, will it be dribble-based or projectile? If it’s diarrhea, will we get a one-shot-done, or will she be playing the time-bomb-butt game, delivering a wet fart and then exploding seconds after the diaper is removed? The count so far is 107 diapers and three full loads of vomit/diarrhea-related laundry in five days.

Amazing, isn’t it, how you’re able to laugh about things that should, by all accounts, seriously gross you out?

3

My condolences. Stomach flu is wretched. How everyone gets better soon!

4

You probably have done so already, but you should consult your doctor if it lasts more than a day or so. Babies can dehydrate very easily, and you’d much rather prevent that than treat it. If she experiences both diarhhea AND vomiting, consult a medical expert ASAP.

5

Thanks, MLS – we went to the doc after the first day of this, and we’ve got a followup appointment in…oh, crap…a half hour. Guess I should be getting ready.

Hope this was a one-off deal for you, Edward!

6

Yes so far it was only the one time. But I’ve been watching and listening when I change her just in case I get pooped on again.

7

What a cutie!

And going to her first Dopefest at less than six months old – clearly you’re going to bring this girl up right.

Congratulations to you and Iris –

And welcome to the world, Sabina!

8

Far-flying baby fluids don’t surprise me anymore, although many people think I exaggerate when I recount volumes and distances.
I’m glad to find some believers here.
Cyn, postpartum RN

9

What a precious little bundle of…

…joy. Here’s hoping the Explode-a-Baby defuses soon.

10

Emily Lauren did that to us a couple of times. It seems to stop as their bowels mature and they start pooing less frequently, so you’re much less likely to get one in the middle of a nappy change. Em poos once every day, sometimes every second day now, so it does get better, quite quickly. (She also sleeps for up to 12 hours straight overnight which is just wonderful!)

11

Hence, the affectionate name Little Shit …
:smiley:

12

OOH I’ve been waiting on tenterhooks to see pics of the Edward and Iris baby!
Sabina is just gorgeous I love cute, confused, sleepy looking newborns…as long as someone else deal with their nappies (diapers).
Hal- your little turkey just gets cuter, and 1920s Style “Death Ray” your bub has such a mischevious grin.
Awww…babies…I want one!

13

Erf…5:30am…baby on lap…won’t sleep…won’t stop crying without a bottle…won’t stop puking if I give her a bottle. At least we’ve gotten through the last two hours where my sitting down was apparently unacceptable. No. Fun.

14

When we had our first son, my husband stayed in our room for five days, because the hospital was a plane ride away from our house. It was great because he did all the lifting of baby and changing of him, but we were both total noobs and had no idea of the mess that such a little thing could make.

The next morning after the cesarean, hub put the baby down on his bed to change the nappy. The bed had a big fluffy duvet on it with a white cover. Hub just put baby straight down on it. I had had a cesarean late the previous evening and was suffering from a post epidural headache so had no pillow for a few hours so I could lie completely flat. Hub put baby right in my line of vision, with babes butthole right about 18 inches away.

As soon as the dangerous bits were exposed, babe started to wee. It shot right up into the air and back down into his own eyes. The baby was weeing away and tossing his head back and forth, shocked by the fountain in his eyes, and my husband was standing there flapping and saying, “Oh shit, oh shit” and looking around for some fairy to come and magic him out of this situation.

THEN the baby started to poo. It was his first poo, the black meconium, and I saw it emerge from his butthole, form a sort of bulging blob and then break and flow all over the sodden white sheets.

Have you remembered the very recent cesarean, and the headache. You simply can NOT laugh - it just hurts too much. I was panting and trying to look the other way so as not to laugh, but I could not help it, and all my stitches were pulling and my head pounding. I got quite angry because it was the only way to stem the laughter.

At that very moment a nurse came in, took one look at the mayhem, and took over. Hahhhhhhhh…

I did not even dare to think about it for about four days because it made me start to laugh. Still does, and till my dying day I will remember being nose to butt with my son for his first poop, and the way it crested out of his bum.

15

Ahhh…the little one sleeps (and I can now use more than one finger to type).

So, yesterday’s doctor visit turned into a trip to the ER. They decided they needed to get some IV fluids into her to keep her hydrated. Unfortunately, trying to find an infant’s vein isn’t all that easy. Poor little thing had to go through six needle pricks until they finally got one to take hold.

And just to keep this at least a little bit on topic, my wife managed to catch both projectile puke and projectile diarrhea, both to the chest, within five minutes of each other. And of course, since we were at the hospital, she didn’t have a change of clothes. Fortunately, we’re well into the “all you can do it laugh about it” stage.

16

The exact same thing happened to me as well when my daughter was perhaps a month or less. A small farting sound and then half a second later a spray of projectile poo going about 4-5 feet. Fortunately I managed to step aside so it only hit the floor.

I’ve warned all my friends about the phenomenon.

17

First of all, let me apologise for the hijack.

Secondly, let me say that I have NOTHING but respect for those of you that take on the responsibilities of parenthood.

Thirdly, this thread has rather firmly cemented my desire to NEVER become a father.

Now, more poop stories, please.

18

They need to warn everyone about it. It is pretty funny though when you’re not expecting it to shoot so far.

No other good poop stories for you Whifton, though she does like to make faces when she’s trying to crap. It’s funny sometimes, she makes these faces, then she farts. And man can she let them rip, even I’m impressed.

19

Heh…I managed to get a wonderful momment on video a few weeks ago. Shayla is looking straight at the camera, laughing and playing. Suddenly, she gets this very, very serious look on her face – her jaw becomes squared and her brows deeply furrowed. She purses her lips as her entire face becomes beet red, until…PPPPPPPFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTT…TTTTTTT…ttttt…gurglegurglegurgle…

It was perfect timing to have the video camera on her. I’m thinking that I’ll unveil the tape to her at her sweet 16 party.

20

That, dear sir, is worth of America’s Funniest Home Videos. I should know - I watch every week! Make a copy and send it in - I think you’ve got some good material there.