The Census 2000 Conundrum

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So I’m filling out the new census and come to questions 5 & 6 ( Out of six)

  1. Are you Spanish, hispanic/ latino?

a. No
b. Yes, Mexican, mexican american, chicano
c. Yes, Other Spanish/hispanic/latino ( print your group)
d. Yes, Puerto Rican
e. Yes, Cuban

  1. What is your race ( mark one or more races of what you consider yourself to be.)

a.White
b. Black,African American or Negro
c. American Indian or Alaskan Native ( print name of enrolled or pricipal tribe.)

d. Asian Indian
e. Chinese
f. Filipino
g. Other Asian ( print race)
h. Japanese
i. Korean
j. Vietnamese
k. Native Hawaiian
l. Guamanian or Chamorro
m. Samoan
n. Other Pacific Islander. (print race)

o. Some other race
Now, being the Cecilite or Cecilonian that I am, when filling out the paper work for my children after their respective births at the hospital, when asked what race my offspring are, not wanting to contribute to the racial chasm that is so very apparent in this country, I made my own sub catagory: Human.

However, in an effort to increase monies and expand local and state budgets with the new numbers,would I, in effect, be screwing myself and my kids future (in public schools,as an example) if I put in my usual answer?

Or, do the number crunchers at the census average it out. Time for a story problem, kiddies:

Say there are only a 100 people living in North Dakota. Say the race they all belong to is Caucasian. Say Mrs. X filled out her census for a four person household citing that the race her family belongs to is: Human. Now there are 96 members of the caucasian race and 4 members of the Human Race in North Dakota.

Does this mean that the Human Race now qualifies as a sub-group, and enables them for special grants, fundings and scholarships offers because of their unique status?

(Actually, this is a trick question, kiddies, because no one actually has ever been to North Dakota, like Bali Hai or Brigadoon, with out a catchy song. This is a myth perpetuated by Mr. Rand McNally, a consumate map maker prankster person.)

Anyways, what should a morally responsible HUMAN do in this situation?

2

I look at it this way: would you answer a question asking what your gender is? If yes, why not answer a question about race?

3

Because race is a completely political construction in a way sex isn’t.

(My wife filled out our census form because I threatend to list all of us under the race of “American.”)

…but when you get blue, and you’ve lost all your dreams, there’s nothing like a campfire and a can of beans!

4

That’s not quite true. For example, there are some diseases that are more prevalent in one race vs. another.

5

I think, to be pedantic for a moment, that actually there are certain diseases to which there is a hereditary susceptibility, and that therefore groups that have not interbred much have very different patterns for those diseases.

“Race” is determined partially by the color of one’s skin, partially by one’s ancestry, and partially by one’s self-identification. (Witness the hoo-haa over the “mixed race” classification.) There’s nothing scientific or stable about it. That’s why I dislike it as a categorization, and wish that it were not a matter of public policy or public knowledge.

…but when you get blue, and you’ve lost all your dreams, there’s nothing like a campfire and a can of beans!

6

We had a big article in the newspaper last night where a group in our state wants everyone to write in “Confederate Southern” for race in the ‘other’ block. Their contention is that if you can have a Cajun race then you can have a Confederate Southern race. Ain’t that special?

I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.

7

The census document is not being filled out to track medical issues, at any rate.

My answer to the race question is the same as Shirley’s: “Human.”

-Melin

Voted Best Moderator (Emeritus)

8

I bucked up and gotted down “White” like a good li’l American. Erm, as in a good li’l American fills out his form properly, not that a good li’l American is white. Anyway, I think that according to the commercials, it’s a safe bet that if you write down “human” you’ll be condemning yourself to a inadequate fire service, a library filled with Playboys from the mid 80’s, potholes the size of a mobile home and filled with C.H.U.D. and your children will have to attend classes in the boiler room of a derelict barge.

“I guess one person can make a difference, although most of the time they probably shouldn’t.”

9

Playboys from the 80s, you say?

Damn, where is that census form?

pat

10

I heard that there were two different forms being sent out. Most of the population were being sent a simple form with only about seven or eight questions for each member of the household. I guess I must be part of the small percentage of people being sent the long form because there was over 40 questions for each member. Since I had six people to put on the list, it ended up taking the better part of two hours to fill out this form. Some of the questions were weird too, like how many miles did each person drive to and from work on a weekly average, how many hours per week each person worked and/or went to school, if we were still living at the same location that we did five years ago and, if not, what was that address, and a bunch of other things. The question that I had the hardest time with was it wanted to know our exact ethnicity (not the Hispanic question), the examples being given including Italian, Chinese, etc. Since the whole family is basically a bunch of mutts, I ended up putting down British since most of our blood consists of English, Irish and Welsh.

Shadowfox

“The dead have risen, and they’re voting Republican!” - Bart Simpson

11

What I thought was odd about the race question was that they ask what race you consider yourself to be. Now, my husband and I are as white as can be. But, I brought up to him, “You know, what if we want some funding to go for other groups?” Can I say that I consider myself Hispanic, or Asian, or whatever?

My husband just looked at me and said, “Write down whatever you want.” Then he gave a heavy sigh.

12

What I dont understand is it says you must answer both questions 5 and 6 so I answer 5 as yes for my wife (full Mexican) and tweo children (half Mexican) so i consider there race to be hispanic but question six has no option for hispanic…I dont get it…

I feel more like I do now than I did when I got here.

13

I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but do you really consider “white” to be a race? I guess anyone can classify themselves as whatever they want, but I would think Caucasian would be the proper and more preferable term.

14

I wrote in that I am “German,Irish,Native American Indian American”.
When they asked how much money I made, I wrote in “none of your business”. Like they don’t already know.

15

After starting this thread, I thought I better ask someone who specializes in such important questions. Here’s what I wrote:
March 14, 2000

Dave Barry
Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami FL 33132
RE: Census 2000

Dear Dave,

So I’m filling out the new census and come to questions 5 and 6 and have hit a moral speed bump and naturally thought to turn to you for guidance.

  1. Are you Spanish, Hispanic/ Latino?

A) No. B) Yes, Mexican, Mexican American, Chicano C) Yes, Other Spanish/Hispanic/Latino ( print your group) D)Yes, Puerto Rican. E) Yes, Cuban.

My question is this, If I eat at Taco Bell more than three times a week, does that qualify me as a Latino or as a Chihuahua?

  1. What is your race ( Mark one or more races of what you consider yourself to be.)

A) White B). Black, African American or Negro. C) American Indian or Alaskan Native ( print name of enrolled or principal tribe.) D) Asian Indian. Etc …Until I this: Some Other Race. This Some Other Race is my moral and ethical dilemma.
When filling out the paper work for my children after their respective births at the hospital, when asked what race my offspring are, not wanting to contribute to the racial chasm that is so very apparent in this country, I made my own sub category: Human. I have not encountered any difficulties yet, but my children have not started school and will probably be placed in Special Ed once it is known they are Humans.

However, in an effort to increase monies and expand local and state budgets with the new Census numbers, would I, in effect, be screwing myself and my kids future (in public schools, as an example, not that our school systems cannot screw out kids on their own without assistance from Uncle Sam) if I put in my usual, and more (watch for the buzz word) politcally correct answer?

Or, do the number crunchers at the census average it out? Here’s what I’m getting at:

Say there are only a 100 people living in North Dakota. Say the race they all belong to is Caucasian. Say Mrs. X filled out her census for a four person household citing that the race her family belongs to is: Human. Now there are 96 members of the caucasian race and 4 members of the Human Race in North Dakota.

Does this mean that the Human Race now qualifies as a sub-group, and enables them for special grants, fundings, scholarships and more importantly, open a casino in their basement legally because of their unique status? Or would they be submitting themselves to strip searches by men carrying badges with dark glasses and no sense of humor until they admit under the bright lights and cattle prod that they alone sank the Maine, but can’t remember why.

(Actually, this is a trick question, because no one actually has ever been to North
Dakota, like Bali Hai or Brigadoon, without a catchy song. This is a myth perpetuated by
Mr. Rand McNally, the same prankster who makes no two of the same maps for New York City streets and distributes them to unsuspecting tourists. ( Suspecting tourists have learned to stay away from The Big Apple.) Those Cartographers!

I take great offense to the title WHITE. Blacks get at least three labels to choose from and Asians a bucketful. I have taken upon myself to create appropriate sub categories for the politically correct-yet-horridly-boring label for Whites. There is so much more to us Honkies than color, as any day time talk show can prove.
Trailer park trash
Episcopalian Golfers
White House Interns
Weekend Warrior
DINK (Double Income No Kids)
DINKNM (Double Income No Kids No Money)
SIWKSOTC - Single Income With Kids, Spots On The Carpet
In The Closet
Did Not Work To Teachers/Parents Expectations
Runs with Sharp Objects
Too Happy
Too Cranky
Bored Stay-At-Home Parent Who Write To Humor Columists
Lives At Parents House And Is A Member Of AARP
Moved To Florida When Youngest Child Turned 18 And Left No Forwarding Address
Wears Lycra In Public
Has Been Studied and/or Impregnated by Space Aliens.
Labrador Retriever

Dave, You have connections. You can get the Big Hoo-Ha’s at the Census to install this new sub category. I’m sure with your power and tenacity, it could be implemented by 2090.

Anyways, what should a morally responsible HUMAN do in this situation? Label my family’s race as White, Human or Labrador Retriever?

Awaiting Anxiously Your Sage Advice,

16

The PC term is now Native Casino Owning American.

17

Sorry,I’m a little behind the times.

18

Sigh Yes, yes… whatever. I don’t have the form in front of me, but whatever term it uses to say “Guy with ancestors from Europe”, that’s the box I checked. I went with the quickest to type and easiest to spell word for SDMB purposes because I wanted to get to the good parts about the Playboys and the C.H.U.D.s

“I guess one person can make a difference, although most of the time they probably shouldn’t.”

19

Hmmm… as long as I’m thinking of it:

I’m not against anyone writing whatever they want on their forms, but when you think about it, the only one who’s going to see your rage against the machine is some college student getting paid $8.50/hr to enter this data. As soon as he sees your smartass answers that don’t fit into the database he’s using, he might chuckle for a moment before throwing your form into the trash or else enter only the ‘accurate’ data.

Fine if you’re just amausing yourself, but I certainly hope no one thinks that writing ‘human’ on their census form will lead to government reform.

“I guess one person can make a difference, although most of the time they probably shouldn’t.”

20

Each form is worth an extensive amount of money.

If you put in non-qualified answers you can expect a Census worker to call or come by.Might even be me.