It won’t get better. It will just be different problems that may be less burdensome. That is the nature of life. You can survive this if you want to. I’ve been penniless and hungry, so I know where you are. If I had used my revolver on myself, I’d have missed out on some priceless moments, including revenge.
" . . . my little sister was raped by 2 drunken, stoned faggots . . . "
Not to hijack poor Payne’s thread . . . But what the fuck was that about?!
Eve, for some reason, young folks use the word “faggot” interchangeably with “asshole” or “jerk” or any number of other insults. Beats me…
Payne, I’m just gonna go ahead and say hang in there. I don’t really have any experience with what you’re going through but I know that there are always rough spots in life. But when you get through this (and I KNOW that you can!), you will be MUCH stronger. You can look back and say “Hey, I got through it! I survived!” I feel, for you, I really do. I’ll be here if you need to talk to someone.
Payne? Check your e-mail.
Veb
You will survive. On some level, you know that (all you need is oxygen, food, and enough warmth to keep from dying of exposure). If zillions of homeless people and war refugees make it, you will too.
But failure to survive isn’t what you’re worried about, is it? You’re probably more worried that you will survive, to face an unending sequence of bad days in poverty and rootlessness and emptiness and meaninglessness.
Sir, I landed badly in 1984 in my attempt to move to New York City. Had lots of stuff stolen from me and couldn’t secure a job or rent a room (despite having a couple thousand in traveler’s checks on me). Ended up genuinely homeless. Yes, it is scary shit. No, it isn’t a greased pit from which you cannot climb once you’ve slid into it.
You will survive and furthermore you will find a toehold that leads to reestablishing all the things you’ve lost and all the things you’re worried that you may lose, if you do in fact lose them.
Take a deep breath. There is much to live for. Hey, I’m counting on you to stick around so I can argue with you on the boards!!
Payne,
Not much I can tell you except that we’re about the same age and breaks haven’t exactly been coming my way either.
Hard as it might sound, perhaps you should stop focusing so much on the Big Picture and start taking pleasure from all the tiny – and good – little things that make up much of our day. Something as simple as having a cup of coffee, reading a book, enjoying the weather, taking a walk…anything. And talk to people if you need to, anyone and everyone. It is also my experience that the good greatly outnumber the bad – and the good want to help. Even if it doesn’t seem that way at the time, at least make the efort.
Hang in there bud – my e-mail is listed if you care to talk further.
{{{{{{{{BIG HUG}}}}}}}}
Eve, I used the words I use to describe them because every time I think of them I get a murderous feeling deep inside of me. That murderous feeling may come out to my attitude and vocabulary.
How dare you say that these two people are too good to be called faggots by questioning my feelings towards them. You go to hell.
psst… Darth, it’s time to change your location back to what it was before
It’s not that those two scumbags are “too good” to be called a bad name, but that the epithet you chose insults gay people, who do not deserve to be lumped with rapists.
And Eve did not insult you, so you should apologize to her.
Do not use hate speech on the Straight Dope Message Board. This includes the word “faggot”.
Lynn
For the Straight Dope
Jeez [n]Lynn**, you’ve had a rough time in the hate speech department these past few days. I wonder where all these loonies came from.
I’ll toast you first beer I have tonight.
payne, you have my thoughts, and if you’d like, my prayers also.
we’re all here for you.
“Loonies”… I am described as such for using a descriptive word?
I wouldn’t wish the experiences I’ve had on anyone, especially being powerless when finding out several months later that the person you love more than anyone else in the world and would give your life for in a heart beat gets raped, I just wish you could understand how it feels. Then I want to see you describe the two “faggots” without using any sort of “hate speech” whatsoever.
I’ll use whatever words I want to describe them that I damn well please.
And THAT’S The Straight Dope.
Goodbye.
Okay, well since I dont have the ability to edit my own posts, I would just like to add something:
I dont know where you people get off acting like you know what my life is like, much less and then CRITISIZING who it’s made me become.
And I refuse to be apart of such a board with ignorant members / admin(s).
Payne? I’m new and all, and sorry, hope this doesn’t sound too much like an IM, but just hoping you are hanging in there and doing okay.
Have a good weekend.
Payne–I’m sorry to hear that things suck so bad right now.
If you can, check your e-mail.
Payne, Hang in there. It will get different. My ex moved out 11 months ago & our credit is messed up, so I can relate. It will change. Don’t put a time limit on it. Don’t say “in 2 years my situation will be X.” Just do the gotta’s; feed the dogs, work on the house as you can. Eventually you will have moments of good feeling. You will feel yourself begin to come back to life. The lows will not be so low or take so much of your time. It won’t be fast or easy.
Honey, I know nothing I say is going to help. I am sorry for that, and I wish I COULD say something that would help. But I can’t, so I am just going to bumble around and tell you some stuff.
I once had three years from Hell. Started with my very young brother having a massive heart attack. He should have died, according to the docs, but he made it through. God’s timing. Then, my mom got cancer and had a massive surgery…they thought they got all the cancer. Then my dad had a heart attack. Then my best friend’s brother , who was also a good friend of mine, died. Then mom wasn’t feeling well and it turned out that one tiny little cell (that is all it takes) must have migrated to her liver, and she was terminal. I lost my mom. Then I lost my cat, who died of old age. Then, I lost my second cat, who also died of old age. Then, my brother was diagnosed with the same kind of cancer that killed my mother. We all fought it together. He died.
In the space of three years.
I lost two of the people I loved most, and two of the animals I loved as children.
It stinks, and I am not here to tell you it doesn’t.
However, life isn’t ever going to get better if you aren’t here to live it.
When my mom had been diagnosed terminal, one day while I was caring for her, I was crying. She said “why are you cryng, honey?” I said “Because I love you, and you are going to leave me. And I don’t think I can let you go.” She said to me “Honey, there are always people worse off than you are. Give to them.”
I looked at her sweet face and I couldn’t even begin to understand. I LOVED her. I will NEVER be okay with losing her. But the truth is, she was right. There ARE always people worse off than we are. In my case, I understand now that I was blest. Since I lost my mom, I have lost extended family members who had Alzheimers. I know now that THAT would have been worse for me than losing my mom to cancer. I had God’s grace in allowing me to be WITH my beloved mother until she joined Him in glory. When she looked at me, right until the end, she saw ME.
Sometimes life stinks. Sometimes it stinks really BAD.
But if you don’t keep putting one foot in front of the other, moving toward something better, then you are giving up. And if you give up, then you are never going to be able to LIVE. And living is something you need to do.
Don’t give up, hon. If you hang in there and keep trying, things will get better.
I made it through, and I know you can do it too.
My Love,
Cheri
OMG, Scotti, that is truly awful. My problems don’t amount to a hill of beans, or whatever Bogey said, compared to that. Crap.
To all those who emailed me–a heartfelt thanks. And to all those who posted to this thread, a great big{{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}. And to Scribble, heh, heh, a new way to get phone numbers! (Too bad I don’t have a phone!)
Life isn’t as bad as it was. I got my car back, so after missing two days of work I get to go back. The future ex finally responded, and is trying to drum up some money so we can hold on to this dump long enough to sell it.
Deep down in the bottommost pits of my mind, I know that thre are others worse off than me. And I know that neither the good nor the bad lasts forever. It’s just that when you’re stuck in that long dark tunnel, and the only sound you hear is train whistles, it’s pretty easy to start panicking. I have never been one to handle stress very well, especially multiple stresses at the same time, and the pills (welbutrin, 300 mg/day) are not helping. Besides the depression, I now get mini-anxiety attacks.
Thanks again to all.