Last year I got my Mitsubishi large screen TV, but yesterday my entertainment center was made complete!
They delivered the Chair of Ultimate Power!!!
The C.U.P. is a huge lime green leather LaZy Boy.
It reclines of course in a very comfy fashion.
Underneath one armrest is the Massage Controller (O’ Doom.)
Behold 10 different massage motors, cunningly programmed and programmable for maximum relaxation. Intensity, Frequency, Swell, Speed, Zone, Sequence. All these are mine to comand!
In front of the controller of course is my caller ID phone. It is built into the chair so that I never need search for the handheld unit. I have the power to decide whether to answer your call or not and… I don’t even have to get up!
But wait.
What is this under the other armrest?
Can it be?
Oh yes!!!
A refrigerator!!!
Icy cold and big enough for a six-pack and a sandwich. I need never get up again.
With my chair and my TV I shall rule the world! Bow down before me.
Bwaaaa ha ha! I’m better than you all!
Burn in envy fools!!!
Oh yeah? Well I just got a Sony Wega flat-screen ultra-black surround-sound…
Caller ID AND a fridge? I bow to you, O mighty one. Please use this chair only for good, not evil.
And, yes, I’m aware of the fact that my fancy new TV will be obsolete with the coming of HDTV, and I DON’T CARE!!!
A dapper young Doper named Scylla
Introduced a new throne to his villa.
He ate pretzels and beer
Viewed Baywatch with a leer
As it hugged him close as a gorilla.
Wow! Some poets are inspired by sunsets or absinthe or beautiful women, but Scylla seems to do the trick for me! I think I’ll try a sestina next…
A chair of power.
Sitting in it makes you God.
Sorry it don’t flush.
Simetra want bad! If it had a swivel arm with my 22 inch flat panel monitor, a tower case strapped to the back, mouse pad on one arm and another swivel for a keyboard… Oh dear Lord. My muscles would atrophy.
I agree with Simetra: it isn’t complete unless you can post from it. If you were sitting in some other, much less comfortable chair while you were telling us of the C.U.P., then I’m afraid it’s merely Penultimate.
Lime-green. Brilliant strategy, Scylla; the awful color will drive away all women with their ‘fashion sense’ and ‘color scheme’ and ‘absolute lack of tackiness’, thus ensuring that you need never fight the wife or the daughter for possession of your mighty throne. Masterful.
