I second Zoe’s post wholeheartedly. Sir Asshat is someone else’s burden now, and looks as though you dodged a bullet. Take that good fortune to the bank, deposit it, and draw on it as needed.
I’d agree that you should delete the recording. He treated your gesture of friendship and goodwill like garbage and doesn’t deserve a further minute of your time.
Even if his wife “made” him do it - that’s no excuse. It doesn’t speak well of him if she truly did coerce him into doing it against his will. Blech, that’s almost worse, I think. :rolleyes:
I also agree that wiping the slate clean and removing him completely from your life is the way to go. Not that he had much presence in your life anyway; but he’s off the Christmas card list. (No Christmas card for you!)
Don’t acknowledge his message or call to tell him anything, no matter how satisfying it may seem to ream him out with a good retort to his asshattery. Odds are he’s feeling like a jackass (we can hope, can’t we?) for what he did to you, so let that be his punishment. Guy’s got a life of punishment to look forward to, I’d wager.
Should you bump into him around town, ignore his ass and let him enjoy the company of his wife. If he’s alone and approaches you, tell him the P.I. his wife sicced on him is just around the corner snapping photos as he speaks.
You keep mentioning that he’s churchgoing, as if that’s somehow relevant. Ever hear the story about the girl alone in her house at night, reassured by the dog licking her hand?
I am so thankful for my wife, who is not an insane harridan. Over Christmas, she and I hung out with my ex-girlfriend and her husband, and had a delightful time. Over New Years, she and I went to a party with her ex-boyfriend and had a delightful time. Life is stressful enough without going psycho over imagined slights or fantasy stalkers.
If you see him again, I think that rather than give him that prepared speech, you might try a sneer, slowly shaking head, and a “Dude, you’re fuckin pitiful.”
Because he is. He’s not a nice guy. I don’t care how big his wife’s pickup truck is, and I don’t care who’s the boss in their relationship. If your boss tells you to do something awful, only a coward complies. And that’s what he did. Unless he fears for his life when he’s with her, he’s got no excuse.
You say it was a platonic relationship, yet you say things like “dated” and “he broke up with me” with lends me to believe that there was some sort of sexual chemistry between the two of you. If this is the case, the new wife undobutedly picked up on it and feels threatened by you. Doesn’t give her justification to act like the Fisherman’s Wife nor him to act like the spineless Fisherman, yet there you have it.
So take them both off your Hallmark list and have yourself a merry little holiday season. They don’t deserve your friendship.
It’s kind of a dumb story, but I have this image of bluekitten reaching out her hand for a lick, reassuring herself that as long as this guy is churchgoing he can’t be all that bad. A couple days ago, she turned on the light.
Same here (not engaged, but long-time relationship and friendship). If he was stupid enough to marry a woman who came after him with a knife and smashed or tore up anything I had given him in the past, good luck to him. :eek: In that case, she was the one leaving messages for me calling me a slut and telling me to stay away from him.
This must be my day to see several-day-old threads and reply.
Anyway, that sounds like a really nice card, and they sound like they deserve nothing in the world more than they do each other.
And if you have room on your Christmas card list, handmade cards are the only cards of any kind that I usually keep, and I have a (now) famously non-jealous wife, so feel free next Christmas, ok?
