"The Clowney Clusterfuck" - The 0-16 NFL Season Thread (2013 ed.)

Well, the good news is, my Giants look likely to win the Clowney sweeps.

The bad news is, Clowney now looks like a malingering jerk.

Seeing as the Jags are locks for at least worst record, should the title be something related to Teddy Bridgewater?

Any time my reaction to a line of 9/19 for 189 and a TD with 2 picks is, "well that’s not so bad for him, " that’s not a spectacular sign. I feel a bit bad for Gabbert once in a while.

At least he has 12 million guaranteed reasons to ease the pain.

My guess is that he is kinda hurt and has visions of Marcus Lattimore in the front of his brain. He had a front row seat to see Lattimore go from mid-first round to a fourth round stretch and loose $7 mil a year in the process on one play.

Sung to the Simon and Garfunkle classic: “To get QB Teddy Bridewater, teams will lay them down…”

I’m getting a strong Albert Haynesworth vibe from Clowney. No way would I use the #1 pick of the draft on him.

Their was nothing about Clowney coming out of high school except that he played in private school league… his you tube high school tapes are hillarious… almost like a grown man was dropped into a middle school football game…
First two yrs at SC nothing… just beasting… the game last yr against Georgia was awe inspiring… now… suddenly… he’s a “malingerer”… the old ball coach is using Clowney to deflect from his backing a shitty quaterback and a poor offense… J can’t leave SC fast enough… he already saw Marcus Lattimore leave his career on the field… .

Then there’s this bit of local news about a business’ displeasure with how the Giants’ record is souring some New Yorkers’ mood.

I heard that the Jacksonville at Denver game has the largest spread in the history of NFL betting.

And if what Rick’s shows was available on the major channels with no PPV it would almost certainly get a higher rating in every demographic, gay males included (they would be checking out the shoes).

Oooh boy, I’m gonna get bashed for that one.

Are the Buccaneers the best 0-5 team in history? They’re 12th in total defense, 8th in points allowed, 18th in rushing yards per game, and even in turnover differential. Of course, they’re 31st in total and scoring offense.

It’s tied with Colts-Falcons in 1966, but that was before the merger.

It’s what the old coach told me:

“Here’s how you win. Go out and score more point than they do.”

That’s kind of my point. The Bucs have lost four games by a total of 26 points. By comparison, the Giants and Jags have lost five by 100 and 112, respectively. By way of comparison, the Broncos’ point differential is +91 and the 2008 Lions (who went 0-16) had a 16 game differential of -249. The Steelers have lost four by 41. The Texans and Rams, with two wins each, have point differentials of -46 and -38!

And it’s a valid point. That rolls us back to the earlier question of the coaching. Has the turmoil created a situation where decent talent doesn’t know how to win or have the motivation to win? Would a better coach correct that?

The definition of a great coach is that he’ll take his and beat yours and he could take yours and beat his. Does this apply to the Bucs? You tell me.

On another note, I’m still dazzled by how inept the Giants are. We’ll cite your stats on that.

And then there were three: the Giants, the Jaguars, and the Bucs.

None of the three play each other this season.

The Giants’ next three games: Minnesota, at Philadelphia, Oakland.

The Jags’: San Diego, San Francisco, at Tennessee.

The Bucs’: at Atlanta, Carolina, at Seattle.
I feel confident that the Bucs can lose all three of those games.

Damn straight they can! The Bucs have been the NFL’s embodiment of the level of success enjoyed by alcoholic trailer park denizens for mostof the past 35 years, and we’re not about to let anything derail that kind of commitment! GO BUCS!

It just occurred to me to wonder: what would happen if multiple teams went winless in a single season? :confused: Would the universe implode? :eek: Would monkeys write a Broadway smash hit musical? :dubious: Would they bring back New Coke? :rolleyes: What about Crystal Pepsi? :stuck_out_tongue:

Tampa Bay at Seattle will be entertaining. Russell Wilson (Seattle QB) was pushed out the door at NC State to make room for Mike Glennon (TB QB).

Happened in 1944. The Eastern Division’s Brooklyn Tigers and the Western Division’s “Card-Pitt” (the one season merger of the Chicago Cardinals and the Pittsburgh Steelers) both finished at the bottom of their divisions with 0-10 records.

I’m not scared of Wilson (and the Buccaneers, as I’ve noted, actually have a very good defense). I am scared of Seattle’s defense, particularly vis-a-vis how much is left of Mike Glennon after the game.