My Dear Straight Dope.
First, the purpose of this thread is to present a mea
culpa. Let me start with that, then. As I told the
Administration, I don’t “regret” the banning, I think
it was a good move all around – good for me, good for
them and good for all of you, although not pleasant.
Spankings are rarely pleasant but often salutory, and
in this manner I wish to emphasize my agreement with
the criticisms of my last 6 months of posting
especially and the punishment thereof. My ‘bubbling
over’ was of no small regret on my part, and I am
indeed very sorry for the hassle that all went through
during that period on my behalf. It was in many
respects rather disrespectful. Certainly I can explain
certain events for the purpose of clarifying rather
than excusing, but let that come later in this mea
culpa.
There is it, mea culpa – I committed no small error
and my return is based on a mending of past ways, for
which I am sorry. But you all deserve, in my mind, a
discussion to back this up, merely saying I am sorry
is insufficient.
Understanding full well the skepticism likely to arise
from my return, I thought it then useful to present
you all with the very statement and representations,
lightly edited, that convinced the Administration of
my sincerity. I am sure that it is flawed, perhaps
incomplete and no doubt an incomplete rendition of
what should be said, but I am not here to pretend I am
not the person I am with all my flaws and the like. As
well as, I would hope, certain benefits.
Rather, I present this so that you can make your own
judgments and criticisms. As in the past, I take my
lumps, and in more ways, I respect the well made
criticisms of my poor past behaviour. I do not believe
I shall undertake any defence for the largely
indefensible, but feel free to chime in as you like
(as if anyone would hesitate of course).
In regards to the statement, I have removed some items
pertinent to them alone, but the essence is here. I
believe that the community has a right to understand
my representations, as well as what led me to come
back. As I note above, in this manner you can be your
own judges. One item I do request, let us refrain from
‘all is forgiven posts’ and the like. Forgiveness
properly comes with time and proof, which is of
course, as you shall see, my end of the contract.
The Statement:
After a few months away from the SDMB I was provoked
into thinking I might request reinstatement, largely
motivated by a desire to comment on and share my
insights in an intelligent forum on the present Middle
Eastern crisis and in particular, the present war.
Aside: Although I did not note this in my note to the
moderators and administrators, a single event really
prompted this. As it happened just prior to the war’s
opening, I ran into an old acquaintance of mine, a
Christian Arab who I knew to be pro-American from some
long date. We stopped to exchange pleasantries. Much
to my surprise, I was subjected to a half-hour
diatribe on how the present administration is stupid,
incompetent, that America has lost its morals, etc.,
over the Iraq
situation. Now, I have clearly seen a rising tide of
disgust towards America, or more properly the Bush
Administration, wherever I go. I was in London for
Board meetings during the monster demonstration, and
throughout my professional contacts, I detect an
emerging sense of bitterness towards what is (rightly
in my opinion) perceived as American contempt for the
rest of the world, or better the Bush administration’s
contempt for other opinions.
But to have this fellow, educated in the US, well-off,
more pro-American than myself, engage in an
impassioned, frustrated diatribe quite literally
shocked me. Perhaps I have been too sunk into work,
but this was astounding that someone of this character
and nature was expressing anti-American (well anti
present Administration) feelings in such a manner. Now
back to the statement:
I thought about this, and for the first time in a
while I visited the Board. The discussions on the
issue disappointed me, but at the same time I thought
and think, the Board is one of the more intelligent
for out there.
This was not undertaken trivially. I fully understand
my return could be trifle controversial with many and
did not send the request frivolously. Quite the
contrary, I am quite aware of the difficult position
the moderators are in and that my banning provoked
some discussion and rancor, as well as the few months
leading up to that. I am also aware that some have no
small reason not to applaud my presence per se.
Now then, where then to start? I am not great believer
in whinging and posing. As I indicated in the past, I
believe in standing behind one’s own actions and
owning them, for good or for bad. I confess having
recently reviewed my writing from 2001 to 2002 that I
can not deny a decline in quality and tone, the former
being embarrassing, the later of partial
disappointment on several levels, including the
decline in reputation.
I believe, then, without trying to excuse the pattern
of behavior and posting which led the Administration
to pull the plug, I might then start with a discussion
of that same behavior and the rather multiple reasons
for it, so as to lay a basis for my representation
that a reinstatement would not ‘burn the moderators’
or cause, at least by actions on my part greater harm
than good.
First, I should say that I had lost patience with what
I viewed as egregious ignorance. This does not of
necessity reflect well upon a return to SDMB, but I am
not writing to pretend what was, was not. Nor does not
in any manner excuse my what might be termed exuberant
attacks on the purveyors of the same, in violation of
the Great Debates rules. However, I believe I can
provide a reasonable context for my representing to
you that I shan’t … how to say it, boil over again?
I may mention that at the same time as my ‘decline’ I
was in the midst of negotiations for my new career out
here in that very region of interest, an interesting
change in industries and one of great importance to
me. I lacked the time and personal patience at the
time to properly and coolly argue the issues, as had
been my wont in the early days of my posting at the
SDMB. Pressed for time, I felt, wrongly to be sure and
I might add ultimately disrespectfully, I could walk
up to the line Great Debates rather than take the time
to open a Pit thread. I should say that while my
position (in re my time constraints) may not have
fully changed, I believe, as I shall note below, that
the other factors have been put to bed, so to speak.
In the final analysis, I was and am content that I was
banned, as I think it was necessary, absolutely
necessary, to prove a point for everyone and take away
the ‘collounsbury’ aura or whatnot. That is, I think
it was necessary, as I don’t believe special treatment
charges etc. would go away otherwise. It may be they
will not regardless, and for that of course I owe a
better level of restraint all around.
There was some more, but this captures the essence of
a longer and I think frank discussion. At my best I am
not Tamerlane nor TomnDeb, et al, and as I said to the
Administration I would not know how to counsel them on
this very subject, that is my return, but I made the
following representations as part of the somewhat more
extended commentary.
(a) I do represent that I shall endeavor to closely
follow the guidelines and not insert pit worthy
feelings into other fora.
(b) I intend to limit my interactions to attempting to
bring a sort of observer’s status to the SDMB in re
the war along the lines of my participation during
Afghanistan, which I believe was of no small value. I
believe it may be valuable.
© While I do not represent I shall be all sunshine
and smiles, it is not my nature in the end, I do
represent I shall endeavor to restrain my expression
and maintain the sort of interaction I became known
for prior to 2002.
I believe this is a fair statement upon which the
Administration relied, with some minimal further
comment not substantially different from what I have
laid out here, to reinstate. Very obviously I am
taking a certain kind of position that I did wrong,
that is was in fact not respectful and that to return
I should be more careful of community rules – and very
clearly if I can not live up to my end of the
contract, that is that. Should my feet be of more
fragile clay than either I or the administration
imagine, I only ask that no rancor be directed at the
Administration or others, no special favors for me in
any respect do I want. At the same time, I do hope
that I have communicated in a fair and sincere manner
why a return to the board adds rather than detracts
value.
Respectfully yours,
“Collounsbury”
For now, anyway. Welcome back. 
