Many of you may remember the saga of The Cooler of Death.
Grab your children and pets, for the Cooler of Death has returned! (He warned us!)
:: cue ominous music ::
Sunday my husband and I went to breakfast at 59 Diner. On our way out, he spied an innocent looking cooler, seemingly in great shape! A feeling of disquiet passed over me, but surely it couldn’t be IT, could it? I was slightly concerned, but knowing my husband, I knew he couldn’t resist the call of FREE STUFF ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. I laughingly warned him to think of what might be inside. “Maybe a severed head,” I quipped. He just looked at me strangely, and got out of the truck. (He knows of my addiction to this place, but he is not a member, and knows not of The Cooler of Death. I should have stopped him.)
It is June. This means here in Houston it has been summer with 90+ temps for a couple of months now. I couldn’t see him open and dump the cooler, but I saw him put it in the back of the truck. Then he got in the truck. I gagged and told him to “Get out! Get out!” He smelled so rank I thought I was gonna hurl. He was gagging, too. I told him, “No way we’re keeping that cooler! It’s the return of the Cooler of Death!” He drove closer to the door of the restaurant, and got out. He put the cooler back on the ground, and went to wash his hands.
The smell was still in the truck! AAAGGHHH! I had some spray stuff like Febreze in the glove box, and sprayed his seat and floor mats liberally. When he got back we sprayed his shoes. There was still a faint hint of the nastiness that was dead nasty bait shrimp, baked in the sun for a month or two or 20, but we survived until we could wipe down the interior back at home.
I pity the next person who decides that cooler would be nice to take home!
Beware The Cooler of Death. It could be in your neighborhood soon.
:: / music ::