People with a good gender mix in their homes never quite understand what it’s like to live in ‘gender-slanted’ environments. Oh, I love the CottaDad and CottaOffspring well enough, but their very maleness is sometimes a bit rough on the part of me that has some ‘girlie’ left in it.
A recent example.
Since moving into the new place we seem to need a plunger more often. I tend to think it is because the plumbing in this place is some 10-20 years younger and built with the water conservation fad that’s been all the rage in mind. We got along fine for 13 years with the old plunger but it’s time had come so I asked CottaDad to pick up a new one. Originally I had asked for something modern and maybe Swedish and interesting but CottaDad refused since he “…didn’t want an emotional attachment to any plunger.” Sigh…
So, finally, a new plunger had been acquired and we could continue on. Or so I thought. I have been recovering from some sort of hybrid strep/flu for a week. It means I try to spend as much time as possible snoozing or simply resting with my eyes shut. I tried resting with my eyes open this past weekend and somehow saw an ‘America’s Next Top Model’ marathon. I won’t do that again.
Anyway, I was resting when I heard gales of laughter, a few high pitched “Aaaaahhhs!” and a sort of ‘smuuuurking’ sound. “?” I thought. Then the boys, both pater and fils aged 50 and 13 come tumbling into the room. “Hey mom! Wanna see what we can do?”
“Why, s-u-u-u-r-e, boys. What can you do?” The brand new plunger came out, the shirts came off and both of them were covered with what looked like sucker marks.
“Have you boys been wrestling with giant squids?”
“Heck no! Watch this!” (As any mom knows, there are few other phrases that can frighten as badly as ‘watch this’.) So they proceeded to ram the plunger on each other then pull it off as quickly or slowly as they could causing the large red rings. “Whaddaya think?”
“I think you’re probably gonna go put pots on your heads and play mountain goat next, aren’t you?”
You should encourage this bonding behaviour. Get them a couple of dart guns with those rubber suction tips. Then they can expand the experience from simply spearing each other with a big plunger to stalking and shooting each other. The one with the fewest sucker marks wins!
Truly manly behavior. You are lucky to witness it.
<As said in the most David Attenborogh sotto voce> “And here we can see two members of the species engaged in a bit of ‘play’ with a found object. Note the profound ‘joy’ to be had from the simplest of things!”
Evil Captor is CottaDad? Ah, why didn’t you say so? Okay okay okay . . . now for some fun.
Have the lightest CottaKid lie face down on the floor with his briefs slightly lowered. Place a plunger over each bare buttcheek, depress, and then see if you can lift him off the floor.
Then call Guiness.
Man, when Evil Captor’s involved, anything becomes possible.
