Riverdale s1e9 - Chapter Nine: La Grande Illusion
Random thoughts as I watched…
"Thicker than blood, more precious than oil. Riverdale’s big business, is maple syrup.”
Lots of great wacky dialogue this episode!
“When Great Grand Pappy Blossom killed Great Grand Pappy Cooper”
“Milquetoast”
Wow Valerie was surprisingly understanding…
The tree tapping ceremony was so deliciously full of wack. The cult of maple syrup! All the red coats and capes. Archie’s “you can do this in your sleep”. Um yeah, I know when you are a teenager and you have to gently tap a hollow spike into a tree like the honor of your family and the future of your progeny all are depending on it is unimaginable pressure, but hey Cheryl, you got spunk. You deserved that “Bravo well done”
Hashtag justice for Barb! I mean Ethel. Is it just me or are they dressing Ethel exactly like Barb? She may have been abandoned by her best friend for a booty call and eaten by an evil plant headed D&D demon in an alternate life, but now she is saved by “lunch and pampering” yay!
Veronica gets a “Mean Girls” back story.
Archie “gigolo” Andrews pimps himself out for a guitar and some sweet sweet college recommendations. And wow all the Blossoms are super creepy stalker obsessed with Archie. I was thinking it was his red hair and… bingo! Confirmed when Mrs. Blossom makes eerie comments about his resemblance to Jason. Which makes the scene where Cheryl kisses him…um…Even Mr Blossom has some awkward half dressed in half tailored suit man talk.
Sidenote: one of the consultants for the show also did Afterlife with Archie, which also played up the twincest inuendos.
“Amazing”/”Terrifying” lol
“Thought I’d tapped my last tree”
“PR debacle”
“Biblical plague”
Wow now Veronica is responsible for Ethel’s Dad almost dying. Her mom isn’t having any, but Ethel forgives her, due to a highly symbolic pearl clutching turned Martha Wayne pearl explosion.
The Coopers are going through the standard attempt to write expose/change password/throw brick through window/fire/pressure the daughter into holding the family together phase of their couple’s spat. Psycho biddy da da DA da da. But - - superspy Polly! “Smile and dance!” Alice Cooper seems relieved.
Special emphasis on the distinctly different subtext and undertones when Veronica versus Cheryl say “Archiekins” and later “Pollykins”.
“Fred, we need to talk”. No not that talk, though Fred later does the break up and add extortion talk.
In the “sticky thick of it”. Maple references abound!
“Scatter my vixens”
“Looking extremely DILF today”
“The ice woman cometh”
Possibly the best moment of the episode, “I’m wearing maple red lipstick if you were wondering why I taste so sweet”.
OK so the Blossoms put Hiram in jail because of the land deal. But… I thought he only did the land deal as a last ditch way to save his fortune after going to jail. We have a chicken an egg dilemma here…
But this does give us a chance to add another post it to the murder board! Soon it will look like Flash Forward…
“Our woman on the inside”
Mrs Cooper working for The Blue and Gold. Which has a bigger budget than the town paper. Hm…
“Storm of chaos”
That’s all folks. Next week episode ten, which some of the actors has mentioned as a big one. And the return of Archie’s Mom, Molly Ringwald. They really should have hired all of the Breakfast Club actors to be the Riverdale parents.
Episode descriptions and titles for the next few weeks, potential spoilers:
“Chapter Ten: The Lost Weekend”, April 13, 2017
TRUE FEELINGS – GUEST STARRING MOLLY RINGWALD — When Fred decides to finalize the divorce with Archie’s mother Mary, Archie hides his true feelings. Archie tries to win Valerie back with a romantic evening, however, Betty hijacks his plans when she decides to throw Jughead a surprise birthday party. Once Cheryl learns of the party, she decides to make it interesting and things quickly get out of control. Meanwhile, Veronica contemplates whether she should participate in the deposition to help get her Dad released.
“Chapter Eleven: To Riverdale and Back Again”, April 27, 2017
SUSPICIONS CONTINUE TO GROW — Betty is slammed overseeing Homecoming and Reunion weekend, but Alice wants her to help with the Jason Blossom investigation. Alice turns to Archie and Veronica for help, but when Betty discovers they are working with her mom, she is not happy. After seeing his father FP start to clean up his act, Jughead wonders if it’s the right time to give him another chance. Cheryl and Polly have both decided to go to Homecoming in Jason’s honor, until a revelation waylays their plans. Meanwhile, Fred and Mary attend the Homecoming dance, leaving Fred to possibly reconsider the divorce.
“Chapter Twelve: Anatomy of a Murder”