Old Smokey.
*On top of Old Smokey,
all covered with glaze
I lost my ham dinner
to a dog that was crazed.
It jumped on the table
with filthy wet paws
and fled with my dinner
clenched fast in its jaws.
It chewed on that ham bone
and gnawed it some more
and then my poor ham bone
was left on the floor.
Mom rescued that dinner
and said “It’s still good”
But can I still eat it?
I don’t think I could.
It sits in the fridge now
like a bump on a log
but no one will touch it
because of that dog.
Old Smokey’s still with us,
Two months have gone by
The glaze is all green and
the edges are dry.
There came a strange day when
I opened the door,
I saw that Old Smokey
wasn’t there anymore.
He’d grown his own conscience
Sitting there on the shelf,
and that meant Old Smokey
could fend for himself.
He’d jumped out the roast pan,
bumped open the door
and oozed across the kitchen,
leaving slime on the floor.
I ran to the driveway
but it was too late
Old Smokey had vanished
to find his own fate.
So if you spot Old Smokey
around next Halloween
For god’s sake don’t eat that,
You know where it’s been.*