So I was just reading the Wikipedia entry on pistol-whipping and felt I just had to share the last sentence with you guys: “Pistol-whipping should not be confused with butt-stroking, a close combat military discipline.”
The link then takes you to the “Buttstroke” page which politely informs you: “‘Butt stroking’ redirects here. For touching or fondling another person’s buttocks in a sexual way, see groping.”
My new goal in life now is to work my way up the military system as THE authority in this discipline and insist on being addressed as Master Butt-stroker.
I’m impressed how the Navy instructs you to close with and successfully carry out a well-executed butt-stroke on a target who is retreating or otherwise deflecting your advances.
I somehow acquired a version of the USMC close combat manual from back in the “sweep and stomp” days. Every time it recommends an open handed slap to the enemy’s groin it includes “grab, squeeze, and twist IN A VIOLENT AND FORCEFUL MANNER.” It makes you wonder, the all caps thing, were too many guys grabbing, squeezing and twisting in a gentle and sensual manner?
This close combat stuff seems very complicated. I’m going to stick to plumbing. I almost have that ballcock sorted out.