That was very good! 
I laughed out loud a couple of times; you built up the mystery of the problem(s) well; the interplay between the characters was realistic.
Nice job. I think it definitely falls more on the side of “real script” than “fan fic.” The funny was funny and the touching was touching. I also like the reveal. The dialogue between characters felt right; I could picture the actors going back and forth. The medical mumbo jumbo also worked. Congratulations!
I’m kind of jealous of Dio’s success, so I wrote an episode of Big Love.
Really well done. Couple of self-referential moment shout-outs to the SDMB and the show, good and consistent character interaction, and I would have no trouble believing that a staff writer would submit something very similar for the real show.
I am very impressed.
I quickly found out that’s well nigh impossible to sustain a diagnostic mystery that real doctors wouldn’t solve in about four seconds. Realism has to be sacrificed for show. My goal became simply not to make my medical stuff any MORE ridiculous than any other episode. The success of the show has much more to do with its humor and
the irrascability of the main character than with the medical mysteries anyway.
As a House fan, and someone who briefly skimmed the thread that broght this thing on, I’ll say that Diogenes kicked ass here. He was a little heavy handed on the republican-bashing, but he pretty much wrote a House episode that was as good as what the House writers (and the House writers are really good, as far as tv writers go…) could do.
Diogenes was challenged, and really I was expecting him to not come through, but come through he did, with a really good episode script. Good job, Diogenes, and I think you win the original debate with whoever it was that maybe doctored scripts on a tv show that should not be named. I really enjoyed it.
If ever someone won a debate on the SDMB, Diogenes won it hands down.
Well, that was non-shitty! Color me surprised!
Couple of things: diabetes causes hyperglycemia, not hypoglycemia. Hypoglycemia is low blood sugar, and can be an early warning sign for diabetes, but actual diabetes causes high blood sugar, aka hyperglycemia.
Also, I don’t know how much this would matter if Dio were actually submitting this script to a studio or wherever, but it was riddled with typos.
Those nitpicks aside, it “felt” like a real episode of House, and I was genuinely engaged and wanted to find out what happened at the end. Cool!
Well worth the wait Dio .
Outstanding !
Good job finishing. Getting something finished is one of the hardest things.
Dio, can you write some more House episodes?
Good job. I’ve only seen the first season of House, but it seemed to fit. I liked the reveal and the joke on Chase and Wilson.
HAHA oh man Dio I’m only a few minutes in but I’m already loving it for this exchange–
Well done, sir.
A damn fine job, Diogenes. You pegged the characters well and got me to laugh out loud a few times. Well done.
Just finished it. As has been mentioned, you won the debate. I’m not sure if anyone could write a TV script, but you sure can.
I suggest waiting for the professional script writers to review this. A clever script isn’t necessarily the same as a production-quality one, or one that can withstand the corporate gauntlet. I believe that this point was made several times during the whole “TV writers” thread debacle.
I certainly don’t need a professional TV writer to tell me whether or not I enjoyed it or not. I know I did. I know when I see good writing, and Dio did it. All the fundamental pieces were there: the pacing, the story, the characters, the dialogue. If the commercial breaks aren’t in the right spots, so be it. I’m not going to make an issue over that.
To me, that would be like pissing on a very good first draft of a novel because it hasn’t been edited yet. Well, by definition, nobody writes an edited draft. I don’t know a single writer, published or otherwise, who expects drafts to be polished.
Considering that he was working alone, without experience or help, and in his spare time, I would say Dio hit it out of the ballpark. I hope he writes a screenplay and sells it next year. If a stripper from Minneapolis can do it, why not a dad from Minnesota?
Thanks, bro.
It was only supposed to be a spec script anyway, not a polished shooting script.
Congratulations Dio, you pulled it off in style. As a first draft it is very good, especially considering you pulled it off over a dare while attending other duties. I enjoyed reading it a lot.
What’s the matter, too daft to judge a TV episode on your own? Need a critic to hold your a hand? Not to mention that the professional script writers are biased against Dio from the start. The “corporate gauntlet” sounds just like the kind of excuse a sore loser would pick.
No need for such a caustic response, Pedro. I’ve had a great many of my own writings published, and yet I know enough to recognize that industry insiders may notice problems that laypeople don’t. This isn’t like writing a short story or an essay. Rather, as emphasized repeatedly in previous discussions, TV writers face a great many challenges over and above the obligation to commit a script to paper.
You view this as having “a critic hold your hand.” I view it as deferring to the expertise of industry insiders before conclusively declaring that somebody has won the debate. I think this is simply appropriate.
(Also, FTR, I think it’s foolish to think in terms of “winning the debate,” for reasons that others have already articulated at length… but if one does insist on declaring a winner, let the industry insiders weigh in first.)