That’s kind of a big thread; did Cervaise or Elenfair mention which shows they’ve sold scripts to? Just curious what background/experience will be doing the judging.
To be honest, I’m glad to see this challenge. Dio does sometimes remind me of a guy I met in college. There wasn’t a thing on TV he couldn’t do himself “with a little training”. That dude never saw a horse in real life but figured he could do equestrian with a good two weeks practice.
Knowledge doesn’t equal intelligence.
We’re talking House, right?
Rather than write the script, it’d be easier to write the computer program that generates the script.
I think House is kind of a tough one to start off on. My suggestion would be to write an episode of the “hit” ABC sitcom, “The Cavemen.”
If DtC manages to make anyone here laugh, he has clearly beaten the professional writers. That’s about as objective a hurdle as I can think of.
As I wrote in that thread, I choose to keep a low profile, online, mostly because I’ve been harassed in the past for crap from the people I work with. And that sucks. Now – I did offer to meet up with Diogenes and show him a copy of my non-disclosure agreement. Quite a few people here on the Dope are personal friends of mine (my husband is also a Doper) and will gladly vouch for me, I’m sure.
I do not currently sell scripts to “shows” – I am a staff “script doctor” (in television, we end up being called editors or staff writers, though what we do is more doctoring than anything else). I am actually called upon to write specialized or exposition dialog, polish scripts, rewrite entire scenes for color, character, continuity and accuracy. I also tend to do lots of rewrites on short order. I am one of those “under 50% writers” who ends up uncredited.
I am currently working for a procedural and consulting for another.
This is all because Dio dissed the Packers, isn’t it? C’mon, admit it, the pro-Packer bias on this board is pretty obvious!
I have no problem with that, since he did say he could do it. And I have no problem with you either - I support the WGA completely and, as somebody who’s attempted to write some movies and scripts in his spare time I know how hard it is. (Half-hour comedy things on college radio for no pay? THAT, it turned out, I could do. Figures.)
I guess the point is that I would be uncomfortable being judged by you in a bet like that. But I wouldn’t have run my mouth off the way Dio did either, so fair’s fair.
I can understand why you’d be hostile. He said anybody can do your job, which you work very hard at and under a lot of pressure, and for a while he was saying you’re not entitled to get a share of the money you get from it either.
If you can give the script a fair shake, then great. Personally, I’m just hoping to be entertained by the result.
Good luck with the pony and the world peace. I’m hoping you won’t need luck for the 8-cent royalty. 
As others have mentioned in the other thread, nothing will be won from this exercise. The finished product is likely to be judged unfairly, whether it’s impressive or a complete piece of shit. Diogenes is likely to claim victory in either case, as will his opponents.
If it is good, it will only prove that Diogenes, a self-described talented writer, has writing talent, and not that any ordinary person can write a TV script (which was the original contended point). And even if it’s the most amazing screenplay in the history of television, Dio will still have come across as an arrogant jackass in that thread.
All that said, I’m looking forward to reading it and will do so as objectively as possible, imagining the characters’ voices in my head.
I understand not wanting to reveal your current gig but anything fro the past you want to spill?
All those CSI’s would be considered “procedurals”, right? As is House?
And Marley23 (and on edit, Vinyl Turnip), I assume people other than just his critics will get to see Dio’s script so if it’s any good I’m sure he’ll have his defenders regardless of what the “judges” decree. I’m sure Dio’s fragile ego should be able to survive the trauma.
eta:
Are you sure? I thought Dio specifically said he was above the ordinary, most people are idiots, but that HE could do it.
Almost everybody in the thread was jumping on the “you can’t possibly do it” train, but we’ll see.
I don’t think you have to be Dr. House to figure that out. 
But people outside of that thread will see it, especially thanks to this thread.
All of this is Elenfair’s way of saying Charles in Charge and She’s the Sheriff.
I’ve been working on the script for several days already. I actually started one and then ditched it and started another one because I decided I wanted to do a Christmas episode. One thing that’s slwoing me down slightly is that google docs won’t let you set margins so I have do all those narrow text lines manually and that’s a pain in my balls. I gave myself 2 weeks when I accepted this challenge and I still think I can meet it. That would mean it it would be done on Thanksgiving day.
I never accepted any of Elenfair’s parameters, by the way and I have no interest in them. I don’t care what real TV writers “go through” with their “show runners.” All I said was that I can churn out a passable script within a couple of weeks and that’s what I’m doing.
I’m not a novice writer, I just haven’t tried this medium before. It’s really not that big of a deal for me. It’s like a guitar player switching to bass. It’s basically the same thing, it’s just has fewer strings and a bigger neck.
I’m disinclined to follow Cricetus’ suggestion to post pages on blogger because I tend to go back and tweak things a lot and I never feel like any page is set in stone. I’ll think about it, though. Maybe I’ll at least post my cold open and the first couple of scenes.
Astroboy, Haven’t you ever seen the show? House himself is never in the cold open. It’s always the guest patient of the week keeling over.
CarnalK, I’m not usually this confident about much of anything. Writing is the exception for me, not the rule.
I think “**Dio’**s fragile ego” should be able to survive nuking from orbit. There’s no way to be sure.
I’m glad to hear **Dio ** is proceeding as he said he would. My challenge was just to complete the script and share it with us – I don’t think it has to pass any litmus test other than looking and feeling like a real script. (I missed his own self-imposed “2 weeks” time limit). So the notion that he can’t win is false. I never claimed the right to accept or reject it as long as he takes it seriously and adheres to the formula of the show.
Dio, I would not have required the regular teleplay formatting for these purposes, but as long as you share the finished product with us, I don’t care what tool you use. Google Docs is fine if they can be published to the web and shared with everyone.
And Dio, as a writer, I would encourage you to move on and keep writing rather than fussing with the first few pages until they’re perfect.
I’ll join the people who are saying that this is a pointless exercise, except as a bit personal exploration for Diogenes. Good or bad, it won’t prove anything about Justin’s contention in the original thread that TV writers are “a dime a dozen”.
And when he’s done I’ll rip it to shreds. But I promise I won’t be one iota more brutal than I am with all the other writing that comes across my desk on a day-to-day basis. I’ll try to remain as professional as possible.
(I’m not a TV writer. I’m a videogame designer. But my job requires a fair amount of writing and editing on the side. For example I wrote all the dialog in the first few Rainbow Six and Ghost Recon games. I wrote the equivalent of a complete screenplay a couple of years ago for the cutscenes in a project I can’t discuss. I’m currently collaborating with a team that’s making an interactive sitcom – and in fact I have a new story synopsis in my in-box right now that I have to review and give feedback on later this morning. I probaby have enough credits to join the WGA’s new media caucus, but I’ve never gone through the hassle of applying because the game industry isn’t organized and it wouldn’t make much difference for me on a day-to-day basis.)
Also, just because someone gives a lot of comments doesn 't mean it is a failure. Very few scripts pass through 100% the first time.
Actually, no I haven’t… other than brief glimpses while channel surfing. Perhaps I’m not the best to give you a starting point. 
Also, give Dio a break on the deadline, since he has a real job. Really, he helps people, not Fox.
]B]It Started Ouit as an Innocent Wager…**
…but before they were fi nished it would involvre people on three continents, a new paradigm in physics, and overthrown govenment, and a drunken elephant.
How could they have known that, in the course of writing it, Diogenes the Cynic would incorporate government and business secrets that men would die for, as well as the launch codes for ballistic missiles?
New, from Robert Ludlum (even though he’s been dead for years), it’s…
THE DIOGENES TELEPLAY
This Fall.
Only on The Straight Dope.