The Epic Tale of A Moth.

Ah the life of a moth. In particular, the moth that took up residency in my bathroom recently.

I first encountered the moth, Moth-ra, Satan’s Preferred Irritant, several days ago in my bathroom. I was brushing my teeth and noticed Moth-man, the Understudy fluttering around, rearranging the dust on my bathtub. I ignored him, thinking he’d just die and I’d wash him down the drain.

The next day, I was assaulted by a large fly, which I killed in self-defense using a washcloth. Moth-beast was a witness, but I knew he wouldn’t squeal.

This morning I was enjoying my morning shower, only to be joined by Moth-Perve. He endured a good soaking before making a speedy exit from the shower. He was unseen until this evening.

As I attempted to locate a lost hole in my ear, I was attacked by the Moth-Perp. He went straight for my eyes! I shrieked, exited the bathroom, shrieked some more and checked my shirt for any new inhabitants. After consoling my frightened breasts, I was assured that there was no one else in my shirt. The audio went something like this:

Me, exiting the bathroom: shriek! shriek!
Godfather: “…Moth?”
Me: “…Mebbe.”

He then proceeded to make the Moth-Man an offer he couldn’t refuse. A handout, if you will. I still can’t find that damn hole…

Go back into the bathroom and yell loudly at him. Chew his ass up one wall and down the other.

It will hurt his feeling badly. You might even make a moth bawl.

Sorry.

Spats would be proud.

I don’t really mind moths. Or maybe I just haven’t met one large enough to freak me out. I mean, aside from the fact that they shed little wing scales and have an unnatural attraction to faces and really like fabric, they don’t really do anything that warrants my ire.

Mind you, fruit flies don’t really do anything either but I hate those little bastards with a passion, so maybe I’m not the best judge of insect character.