Thanks Spidey
My Haiku maker and Give-a-Damner are broken.
Jim
There was a young lady of Madrass,
Who had such a beautiful ass.
Not round and pink, as you probably think,
But gray, had long ears, and ate grass.
Here, lemme help you out:
*
Cap’n’s Give-a-damner
It is not working today
So, no haikus from him
Cap’n’s Give-a-damner
It needs a wrench & hammer
He must fix that next*
Sunday brings a brunch
My wife is hosting for her
Daughter and some friends
There she is standing
She is the baker’s daughter
Look at those cupcakes
That got me sent to the principal’s office in tenth grade English. 
Roses are red,
violets are blue.
Some poems rhyme,
this one doesn’t.
Well the good news is
the HFH are moving out
The bad news is
Settlement may be delayed and I am cussing up a storm
Nobody moved the shed which is sitting over the property line
it was supposed to have been moved weeks ago
then it was supposed to be moved by today
well today they are pouring the concrete which has to cure for 48 hours and then they can move the shed
I am so pissed
You should get some sort of financial compensation if things in the contract were not done as specified
You have my sympathy,** Sari**. That it teeth-grinding stuff.
To add to the poetrification:
Groove vs. Rut
A groove is smoother than a rut.
A groove is cooler, hipper but
A rut can hold you to the road,
Can guide the tire, move the load.
A groove is easier to lose,
To skip, surrender. Oops! Old news.
A rut will grapple, grasp, and grip.
It’s hard to give a rut the slip.
But groove or rut, the truth is that
The road is seldom ever flat.
Time to demand some consideration from the sellers.
My choices are
A) continue with the settlement and hope they do what they are supposed to do
B)delay the settlement until they move the shed
C)ask the title company to hold funds in escrow until the shed is moved which sounds like a good option except underwriting won’t like it and will probably lead to delay the settlement until it’s done
I said I’d rather proceed with settlement but I will let the realtor and mortgage broker hash is out. If they advise to delay a few days then I will. I need to know something soon though so I can call all the utilities and change the dates.
Now it is pouring rain which probably means the concrete won’t get poured today anyway.
It was supposed to be poured on Tuesday and the shed moved Today
Then again it was supposed to be done weeks ago
Now Sah-son is saying that since the HFH are moving out can’t we stay and the answer is NO!
Had I known the assholes were moving out today I would have ordered champagne with my grocery order, or at least a cake!
D) Board with a nail in it
E) Ask Bobbio to write one of his patented poison pen letters with actual poison.
F) I really like the board with a nail in it idea. Make sure it’s a rusty nail.
Forgive me, but I have forgotten whether it is your shed on someone else property, or the neighbor’s shed on potentially yours.
G) A biiiiiiiiiiiiiig box of especially riled up pointy stick wieldin’ Sri Lankan ninja paratrooper spiders delivered to each and every party responsible for any delay.
Plus, you really should demand some financial considerations from the sellers if there is a delay Sari.
Sari - you may also want to consult a lawyer to determine if the realtor and the mortgage broker are just thumb twiddling because their commission won’t be that big.
[QUOTE=carnivorousplant]
Cat 5 is four twisted pair, which would provide shielding.
[/QUOTE]
Actually, no shielding at all. The twisted pairs provide commmon-mode rejection, and the different twist pitches minimize mutual induction between pairs.
There is shielded Cat5/5e/6 cable available, but it’s pretty rare, expensive and an ugly beast to work with. I’m sure the good Captain can attest to the (non!) joys of working with similar cables in mic snakes.
Well,
finally heard back from the realtor and everything is going as planned. The title company is going to hold back $1000 in escrow until the shed is moved (my choice as to whether to hold $500 or $1000).
Flytrap it is my future shed on their property.
Originally this was one BIG house. Two sisters bought it and divided it into a duplex. The shed sits in the center, they probably shared it.
So it looks as though I won’t be needing any boards with nails or spiders with sticks. All great ideas though.
I will be so happy once I have the keys in my hand…
I swear one more thing goes wrong and I am going to explode.
I think the only thing helping me keep it together today is knowing the HFH are gone. They’ll be back, they still have shit piled up in the living room but their bed is gone and the dogs are gone. Just knowing I can get up in the am and get ready without having to worry about when I can get in the shower or if my dog is going to be attacked.
I don’t know what I’d do without y’all to make me giggle when crap happens.
The words flytrap and gotti post look like English words but when they are put together they don’t read like English. 
Howdy from da cave! I have some irk to finish up, and I made the executive decision to finish up from da cave. Grilled poke chops, peas 'n carrots, and cheesey rice shall be dindin. Tasty and easy just the way I like my men.
ETA: Sari YAY!!!
I thought I had posted a haiku earlier but now I can’t find it. I hope I didn’t send it out in a work email. That would be hard to explain.
No wait, there it is. Good.
That is not called shielding? 