The following events…so far…are true. My Christmas Turkey tried to escape. It’s frozen, and it flew. It’s true. I have witnesses. So, thanks to working third shift tech support and having a soda machine not quite ten feet from me, I present the chronicled adventures…or some of 'em.
Born in captivity and trained in the arts of baste-fu, a brave flightless warior becomes the victim of a horrible freezer accident. Now, under the codename “Butterball”, he is on a mission to uncover the truth. What evil lays in the hearts of men? Mr. Gobbles’ll find out when he passes the aorta.
“You will believe a meal can fly”
(Inspired by heavy medication, caffine, and produced by my favorite tento-sibling, Ladybug!)
In the last great installment (that would be chapter: null) we found Mister Gobbles captured by the villanous “Sysadmins”. In the arms of his captor, where he remains frozen, Mister Gobbles attempts a brave but futile escape.
Mister Gobbles summons his strength, and despite the fact that he is wrapped in celophane, frozen stiff, headless, plucked clean and prepared to be someone’s meal, he flies free of his captor’s grasp…
…and onto the corner of a wooden desk. Mister Gobbles is out cold, and before his frozen body hits the ground, he is back in his captor’s hands once more.
“Dude, you’re turkey flew.” Says the captor’s superior.
“He’s dented.” Remarks the captor. Indeed, Mister Gobbles has earned a scar on his once perfect form.
“Your indented turkey flew.” The superior corrects himself, and then falls into an insane laugh. The captor himself soon joins in.
Oh, what fate will befall Mister Gobbles? Will he be saved? Will double-Agent Perdue come to rescue him, or will he be left to be mocked on the kitchen counter for forty-eight hours? Answers to come if I ever write more of the Freerange Adventures of Mister Gobbles!