The frustrations of search engines.

I remember I once read this partially completed comic. It was kinda cool. It followed the dialogue of an insane girl with her various hallucinations.
It was called (for some damned reason) “Girl Poop”.

Do not enter this in a search engine.

There are sick, sick people out there.

Tell me about it! I was doing some surfing today trying to find info about good ways to make yourself less ticklish (I have insanely ticklish feet. It’s possibly for my feet to get tickled by just sitting there with nothing touching them. This drives me bananas, as you might imagine).

Didn’t find what I was looking for but I DID find a fucking truckload of advertisements looking for girls with ‘pretty and/or ticklish feet’ for pr0n videos. Apparently there’s a big foot fetish/ticklish fetish thing out there that I never knew about. Aaargh!

But the really twisted thing was that these were all mixed up with a bunch of sites with names like ‘’ or whatever, answering typical six-year-old questions ('Why is the sky blue? Why does your breath fog when it’s cold? Why do your feet get ticklish?)

I’m definitely not going to look up your ‘girl poop’ search results tho’. I can imagine All Too Well what’s probably out there…


For my high school senior project I designed a particle accelerator, and doing research was damn near impossible. It would either be "Particle accelerators are the tools of scientists! (Accompanied by many pretty pictures of cloud chambers and such) or I would get Ph.D. thesis papers with equations so terrifying that I was ready to swear off physics and look into some nice basket weaving classes.

At least you didn’t get any “CUM-GUZZLING PARTICLE ACCELERATOR SLUTS!!” links. :smiley:


The scary thing about that is that Google actually gives a hit for it.

(however, it also displays some naughty, naughty AdWords, so I can’t possibly suggest actually performing such a search :slight_smile:

Try this one.

Do a search for ‘Cyclotron’.

I really need more sleep.

One of my friends did a search on some lyrics I’d given him on Altacista, and got back all sorts of porn results! I’d given him the lyrics to the Cold Chisel song “I’m Gonna Roll Ya”, and told him to guess which song it was. The next thing he said was that he had all these porn results, and should have used Google instead! Oh well, it was worth a try.

I swear I was looking up guided tours of Savannah, Georgia, for my in-laws (this was when “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil” was big), so naturally I typed into google “Savannah tours”



Savannah is the name of a very famous porn star.

A friend of mine had to do a research paper on Richard Nixon. Innoucuous, except for the the sobriquet of a major informant … Deepthroat.