Fuck You, former non-native speaker of English co-graduate student whose entire dissertation I proofread and corrected the week it was due, and who then in the dedication thanked everyone, including Allah, for shit’s sake, but not me.
And Fuck You, Ohio State University Department of Student Loans, who are too fucking stupid to pick up a fax off a machine.
Fuck you, ex-boss who asked me to work on Thanksgiving, and then cancelling at the last minute.
To the many people who have fucked me over during the years, who have exploited me for their own selfish gain, who have been cruel, careless and condescending, who robbed me and tried to beat me down…
You didn’t. I forgive your ignorance and lack of humanity. You’ll sow what you reap.
FUCK YOU obnoxious redneck boss who thinks that just because we both possess a Y chromosome that I want to hear how nice you think that woman’s pussy would feel or how that one’s so short you could pick her up and mount her on your member and walk around like that. Fuck you for thinking I’m going to listen to this shit because I’m your subordinate. Fuck you for assuming that because I’m white I want to hear your racist bullshit, you monument to wasted carbon atoms. And a hearty lick my ass for making it up the corporate ladder despite your obvious lack of tact, intelligence or work ethic. Rot in hell and squeal like a pig, you trick-ass bitch.
Fuck you to all the people who came to the Civil War game between the Ducks and the Beavers and treated all the locals like they were in your way.
FUCK YOU, Fred Meyer, for having a serrated metal stand that cut my finger when I reached for an X-Men DVD.
FUCK YOU, manufacturers, for making the X-Men DVD extras on a CD-3 that I had to register with personal information to view on my computer and DOUBLE FUCK YOU for making that in Quicktime format.
Boo Beavers! Go Ducks! Oh, I mean FUCK YOU Civil War. And FUCK YOU school football team spirit. I came here to get an education, not to suddenly find football less than sleep-inducingly boring.
I have nothing against AOL, just amazement that they have any customers whatever. And fiercely loyal, buy why? It has to be the worst deal on the planet.
Fuck you, Ramen gnomes that knocked my unwrapped briquette of ramen onto the floor, hideously splintering it into hundreds of shards.
Fuck you, progenitors of long lines.
Fuck you, Osama Bin Laden.
Fuck the stupid asshole who’s been smoking in the public bathrooms at work.
Fuck the brain-dead moron who’s been smoking weed in the hallway of my apartment complex.
Fuck the purulent bastards who think it’s all right to allow their kids to run around in the hospital hallways unsupervised so they can run and scream like ninnies.
And most of all, fuck the mouth-breathing son of a syphilitic whoremonger who thinks it’s OK to call me to sell me telephone service that I’ve already got.
I feel so much better.
Robin
Fuck you, Dad, for telling me basicly “Normality is bad, dear, you need to live secluded Norman Bates style. And doing good in school is the more important than anything.”
And fuck me for being weak enough to believe him sometimes.
I hate my family…
Fuck you to myself! Did you think the 30th time would be better. How could you actually believe her when she said she had changed. Idiot, you fucking moron.
Fuck you to the guy who gets the highest gpa and fuck you to all the fucking nerdy girls in the class and fuck you to everyone who studies like there’s no tomorrow
Fuck you to my DAD for making me feel so bad about my grades and telling me that i’m wasting his money and that i’m so useless.
Also Fuck you to my stupid friend for making me do his homework for him 'cos he’s too stupid and he’ll flunk if i don’t make the project for him. FUCK YOU and i’m never gonna help you out again you fucking bastard.Nice friend you are, fucking using me all the time.
No punches pulled, of course:
A great big FUCK YOU to Kitra Taigia, on whom I blew over $400 and wasted four evenings of my life trying to ascertain if you were even interested in me. If you can’t even say “good night” after dinner and wine at the most expensive restaurant in Addison (which coincidentally happens to be your favourite), then FUCK YOU! I’m moving on!
OK, then… that feels better!
Tominita! FUCK YOU! Yes, FUCK YOU for dumping me on New Year’s Eve, at the New Year’s Eve party, and leaving with some guy you didn’t even know. Yes, I heard your “old high school boyfriend” story, but Pierre told me the truth - he was there, too! You’re the daughter of two truck-drivin’ low-lifes (though I realize this is the Pit - no offense to any of you truckers I don’t know), and you’ll be a low-life forever more, regardless of whom you scam in to finally settling down with you.
FUCK YOU, Lee Varlman for getting Misty pregnant, then stranding her with the child. Rand is your son, you asshole! Some day you’ll get yours, even if I have to give it to you myself!
oh… and a little “fuck you” to Zyada, who forgot to mention that we needed reservations to see her perform at Goldfingers, thus causing us to miss out on what was surely a hell of a show!
Pete
Long time RGMWer and ardent AOLer
A big FUCK YOU to all of the people in my life who have put me down, teased me for how I look, used and abused me. I hope you burn, motherfuckers.
FUCK YOU bitch, for haunting my life for the past 2 years. You meant nothing to me and you meant everything to me. So you use me and throw me away after it’s too late. I loved you for some masochistic reason, and just when I think I’m over you, you manage to haunt my life some way. I hope someone treats you like you treated me, you lying, psychotic, using piece of SHIT!
FUCK MYSELF for caring what other people think of me and believing that their views of me actually matter.
I feel slightly better now.
I need a second round.
Fuck you again Dad for again mocking and insulting me at dinner yesterday, then i left and i ate outside and got food poisoning. Fuck you, whoever’s responsible for all this. I mean why the fuck do you always pick on me for your ironies GOD?? There are other assholes out there too. How fucking hard can you make it for a guy.
Fuck me for thinking i should have died 2 years ago and blaming myself for fuckups in my life that other people are to blame for. When all i was guilty of was stupidity and innocence.
Man, the lack of talent here is pathetic.
Where is that bitch Stoidela when you need her?
blink
NICKRZ! How the hell are ya?
FUCK YOU stupid jackass that can’t read and fucked up a terminal and now I have to spend an hour fixing it and covering for your stupid ass!!
Fuck you stupid jackass that cut me off this morning and the yelled at me like it was my fault that your a moron.
A hearty FUCK YOU to my bosses boss who rides my ass about stupid shit beyond my control.
FUCK YOU asshole for not listening to me when I told you 5 times that the software will not work on windows 2000 and you installed anyways. And BITE ME…I am not walking you through a registry edit on windows 2000…not my fucking job
Fuck You Ball State University for not giving a child of a single parent any financial aid and then telling me I owe you $1800 and giving me 2 weeks to come up with that or your going to cancel my classes.
Fuck You to my lab supervisor for getting on my case for coming in 30 minutes late ONE FUCKING DAY over a 3 month period. I swear fire me bitch just find someone else willing to work 3am-7am every weekday for minimum wage.
An extra special fuck you to my dad. How can you leave your wife and 3 children for a drug addict fucking slut ass whore bitch? Fuck you for leaving my mother with bad credit and over $2000 in bills each month when she doesn’t even make that much. Fuck you for saying you’ll pay her support and not paying it. Fuck you for screwing me over when it comes to paying for college dear old dad. Fuck you for not trying to talk to me or my sister we havent heard from you in about a month and a half now. Fuck you for running off with MY car and giving it to my drug addict brother. But most of all dear old dad fuck you for not taking the time to ever care about me.
Fuck you to my older brother. Your 21 and your about 190lbs and you beat up on your mother who is 44 years old only about 5’2". If your fucking punk bitch ass would ever try anything while I am home from college I’d show you who the real stand up guy is at our house. Fuck you for always treating me like I was the biggest piece of shit in the world while treating all your drug addict friends like royalty. Fuck you for taking over $3000 from my mom and promising to pay her back and never doing it.
And on a lighter note fuck you to the weather for starting to snow really hard and stopping teasing me thinking we’d actually have snow on the ground.
Well now that I’ve vented I feel a little better although I’d still like to bludgeon my brother with a big blunt object. And I’d still like to FIND my dad and voice my disguist with the way he is acting.
And finally fuck you to my job for having to get up at 2:30 and 3:30 every morning of the week.