:dubious: You realize this raises serious speculation as to the authenticity of your moronity. (moronness? moronocity?)
Oh crap.
Can I get back to you on that?
Disregard this crazy talk; it is perfectly acceptable to fawn and send money.
Or you could send a fawn with money. That would be cute! Then we could have a petting zoo.
See, that’s the kind of useful advice you don’t get from Dracula.
That does it, I’m in!
What if my moronity (moronness?) is such that I can’t get the hang of or even remember a secret handshake?
Does that exclude me or make me a shoo-in?
I’m willing to refrain from participation in the club, ever, for a sun of $500, payable two years from now.
Where can you get a sun for $500? I could do so many cool things with one.
[Geek Alert]An old Korean Sparc5 knockoff, perhaps? 
[/G.K.] (OK, sorry for the uncaught, unedited typo :o )
Well now you’re just being a fucking moron, which invalidates your earlier proposal because you’re now a member.
Oh, OK 
:: perks up :: I’ll still take $300 to go away now, however. For $400 I’ll even do it without subjecting everyone to any more awful geeky puns!
I should’a been a blowjob.
But, but, but, if you need a hand with it, is it fucking?!??
I’m too much of a moron to figure it out.
What are the rules? Actually, fuck off. I don’t care about the rules. Don’t sign me up, I’m in.
What kind of pie?
Pie shaped like an enormous pie. Thanks for asking.
Soitanly not humble. Likely not shoo-fly.
I was an early inductee to thishere club but seem destined to have a simulmembership to Utinam
(it appears to have some connection with dating latinos - wheee!)
Now where is my pie?
When come back br… wait…what?
Oh, sure I go away for a bit and when I come back, some fucking moron has moved the clubhouse. That’s ludicrous! That’s total BS! That’s…
Did someone mention pie?
me me me me me me me! (jumps up and down like a Mountain Dew-ed up lunatic)
now where’s this clubhouse I send the $500 to to get the secret decoder ring and fawn pie?
and did someone mention celibate macaroons?
Now, see, I would have preferred pie shaped like an enormous pi, but I guess I gotta settle for what I can get.