Random funny stuff.
Quotes, anecdotes, jokes.
“That can’t be legal. How much is it?”
It started out as a wart on my ass!
“Very funny Scotty, now beam down my pants.”
(we’ve all heard that one)
I hate the itching, but I don’t mind the swelling.
Why does it hurt when I pee?
There once was a boy from the city
Who met what he thought was a kitty
He gave it a pat
Said what a nice cat
And they buried his clothes for pity.
Oh, and re: the OP’s sig line:
Q. What is the definition of trust?
A. Two cannibals giving each other blow jobs.
(Probably considered tame but I’m not quite sure what we’re allowed to say in MPSIMS.)
Trouser Bonanza!
Your Momma is so fat, when her pager goes off, little kids think she is backing up.
“Tighten up on my organ now.” - Archie Bell
…Monkey tennis?
Monkey rodeo
Men are just like Slinky’s;
Not really good for much, but it never fails to put a smile on
my face to see one tumble down a flight of stairs!
jet-boosted hydro electric cheese plasma wielding chameleon spliced flaming monkeys of insanity
(one of those you had to be there things)
One of my faves…
Woman (can’t remember who):
“If you were my husband I’d put poison in your tea”
Winston Churchil:
“If you were my wife I’d drink it”
Lobsang, the woman was Nancy Astor, and it was coffee.
I heard a good one today.
“Politicians are like nappies. They need changing regularly and for all the same reasons.”
Your mama’s so fat, she works for the telephone company!
Yeah? Well, your mama’s boots have instructions written on the heel !
Banana hammock
Sneeze bubbles.