Whammo, all I can say is that…
[sub]She better swallow[sub]
Damn you. It was intimidating enough trying to meet women in a bar. Now I know that that kind of girl exists, my innocence is lost. Every time I go to a bar from now on I’m going to have to carry a silver bullet, wooden stake, garlic and holy water just in case.
I once broke up with a girl because she wouldn’t stop talking during the Simpsons (especially new episodes). You need to set your priorities man. To paraphrase Maeglin, she better swallow often.
Oh yes, I remember the “frightened attorney” move very well. Poor thing. You, I mean. 
Emilia: “I hate the Simpsons.”
[Close up, Sua Sponte]
“D’Oh”
[Tracking shot, pan back through bar until POV is immediately outside the building and above.]
“D’OH!”
[Pan back further to aerial view of D.C. Washington Monument in foreground.]
“D’OHHHH!”
Far below, tourists look around bemusedly and Secret Service agents draw guns and hustle a dazed George W. Bush into the White House.
Well known scientific fact there. Drinking water from the bathroom sink is the major cause of cooties, dropsy, and consumption.
My wife apparently is half-demon, half-human. She sorta likes the Simpsons, likes The Princess Bride, but thinks Monty Python and the Three Stooges are just for idiots.
Perhaps she is the Antichrist[sup]*[/sup]. Has anyone told G.Nome?
[sup]*It’s the only rational explanation.[/sup]
Satan, eh? Then…maybe she’s…
*Flanders?!
It’s always the person you least expect.*
As for the “Simpsons”, I think it’s fairly obvious from my Simpsosn quote thread from back in the day that I love them. Sure, I may not appreciate a lot of other things that some people may like, but this isn’t one of them.
In the disco era guys woudl put sausages in their pants. Now it’s wooden stakes.
“Are you a vampire slayer or are you just glad to meet me?”
This from a guy named Wolfman???
I thought you undead creatures watched each other’s backs.
Seriously Sua (a lousy Brooke Shields vehicle, BTW), you should report this fiend to the house committee on unamerican activities!
My own personal mother, the woman who gave me life and spent 20 years caring for my every need, loathes and despises The Simpsons. She won’t allow it to be played in the house.
Let me take back that “gave me life” thing. I bet I was adopted.
Now I know there is truly evil in the world.
A guy thing. Extremely rare for chicks to dig the stooges. Monty Python not as much so but far more a guy thing.
She probably meant O.J. and his evil (good?) twin…
Now I’ve been told that tying someone down and torturing them a bit is a bad thing.
But can’t we make the exception? Just this once?
In retrospect, that is the only obvious answer.
Lady Juliet, I agree. Harsh cases call for harsh remedies.
Sua
At least she’s no longer in California. I feel safe to go outside again.
For crying out loud, my 68 year old father LOVES the Simpsons. The weird part is, none of his children turned him on to it…he apparently discovered it on his own, and started calling me and telling me how funny it was!
Simpsons Haters rank just below Baby Brokers and just above Nazi Youth Recruiters on the List. Y’know … The List.
I have the first 6 Simpsons Burger King Halloween action figures, Maggie and her binky sucking pumpkin, Marge and her caulron of eyeballs, Grounds Keeper Willie with his Grim Reaper cape and push broom, Millhouse, Grandpa in his Dracula cap, and Doctor Hibbert. By the end of the month, I will have the entire set.
I didn’t have to buy a single kid meal to get them either.
Yes boys, I am single and available.