The Good Morning Burger

One of my favorite Simpsons bits revolves around the “Good Morning Burger” - Homer sees the ad on TV. It’s something like 12 ounces of ground beef, dipped in rich creamery butter, topped with ham, bacon, and a fried egg. To me, it represents absurdity.

Here’s a quote from the menu of Red Robin ( ), a restaurant chain :

This is the aristocrat burger because we crown it with one fresh jumbo fried egg, then add three strips of sizzling bacon, American cheese, crispy lettuce, tomato and mayo.

I have no question, per se, except to ask, “WHAT THE HELL has happened to society?”


One sunny Saturday morning I undertook the task of creating my own good morning burger. I took a pancake, sixteen ounces of sizzling ground pork, a layer of cheese, a second pancake, a second layer of cheese, a dozen eggs, sixteen ounces of sizzling bacon, a third layer of cheese, a third pancake, sixteen ounces of sizzling hash browns, a fourth layer of cheese, and a fourth pancake.

The angioplasty was scheduled for the following weekend.

What, no rich, creamery butter?

::: quiet prayer :::

Please, gawd, let it not be genetic.

Oh, right. I brushed melted butter atop the final pancake.

I suppose I could have used an entire stick or two of butter, but I didn’t want it to get soggy. Then it’d be gross.

The residents of our great state of Hawai’i have a marvellous invention, a boon to civilized humanity called the ‘loco moco’ which is often eaten for breakfast. It consists of a bed of white rice topped with a fried egg, hambuger patty, and brown gravy. What more could you ask for? It’s brilliant. Truly Paradise.

Elenfair and lno: the Stiller and Meara of the new millenium!

What’s happened to society? You mean what’s happened because of society!

We got several million years of evolution telling us to grab all the salt and protein and complex carbs and fat we can because for an edge of starvation hunter-gatherer hominid those are gold, Jerry, GOLD!

Then we get herds, and agriculture, and the division of labour, and the next thing you know we have butter and eggs and beef and cured pork products and we can combine them however we want and we want to, oh, yeah, baby, we want to because our ability to get them has outstripped our need for them and we haven’t had time to evolve a taste for a balanced diet yet.

How else would you explain the existence of McDonalds?

Don’t worry about it, if we haven’t all died of cholesterol overload in the next couple of million years, we’ll be fine.

Hey, as long as the lettuce isn’t iceberg, I’m all for it. But I don’t think I’d eat it for breakfast: I usually just go for a bowl of cereal for breakfast.

Pizza in the morning over here.

What I wanna know is: has anyone here ever tried to make one of Homer’s famous Moon Waffles?

…I suspect I won’t get many replies, for you’d be dead if you did.

Ahem. Space-age Moon Waffles.

Mmmm, waffle run off.

Nope. Can’t find the liquid smoke.


Are we long-lost brothers? **

I admit to wanting to do this, just to say I tried it. Never have done it, though. Would be interested to hear from anyone who has.

Does this help?

Recipies from the Simpson’s Archives:

**Homer’s Space Age (out of this world) Moon Waffles **

1 package of caramel squares
2 cups waffle batter
1 bottle liqiud smoke
1 stick of butter

place caramel in the waffle iron
pour on waffle batter
add liquid smoke to taste
cook thoroughly
take the stick of butter and wrap the moon waffle around it
place it on a toothpic and serve

makes 1 unfortunate serving
**The Good Morning Burger **

18oz ground beef patty
6-8 tbl. of rich creamy butter
8 stripes of bacon
4 slices of ham
3 fried eggs

sizzle the ground beef, bacon, ham, and eggs on the grill.
place the beef on a bun, the top with bacon, ham and eggs.
soak in butter.
makes 1 wake up serving