The Grammys from HELL

The BBQ Pit
1

I’m in the middle of watching the Grammys right now, and let me just say… THEY SUCK. I mean, this show is just stinking out the place.

Avril Levigne, you know what’s ‘complicated’? Being able to hit the FUCKING NOTES. It must be, because you missed just about every one you tried for. I’ve heard you in live performances four or five times now, and every time you sounded like a cat that had its tail slammed in the car door. Every night before you go to bed, you should give a prayer of thanks to the people who invented the miracle of modern recording electronics. Because without them, you suck.

But it wasn’t just her. The production stinks - vocals are too loud or too quiet. The presenters so far have shown worse judgement than Jewel deciding to remake “Sweet Home Alabama”. The jokes are falling flat, and they’re forgetting their lines. Some of them haven’t even been able to read the freaking cards in front of them. Dustin Hoffman even blew the first opening two lines of the show. How pathetic is that? Hey Dustin, you’re an ACTOR. How can a guy who could create Ratzo Rizzo not be able to say, “Ladies and Gentlemen, Simon and Garfunkel” without screwing it up? And that attempt to be ‘hip’ just made you look like you need a new hip.

Even Simon and Garfunkle, who I love, sounded terrible. I blame it on production. And who’s brilliant idea was it to show them INDIVIDUALLY on the jumbotrons, one on either side of the stage, when the whole POINT to this was their being TOGETHER again?

As I’m typing this, Robin Williams came out and tried to tell a couple of jokes - I didn’t hear a single chuckle from the audience, but that could be because of the godawful microphone hum. Hey, Grammy producers! There’s this thing called an electrical ground - look into it.

I’d better finish this up right now, because N’Sync is about to come out and sing a ‘tribute’ to the Bee Gees. Christ, that’s like having to watch Rick Astley sing a tribute to Chris Isaac or something.

If I ever needed another reason to believe that the music industry is artistically, intellectually, and technically bankrupt, this did it. Way to go, you putzes.

2

That’s it. The terrorists have won.

Oh well, it sure was fun while it lasted.

3

Sam,

Yes, absolutely terrible so far. The phliharmonic sounded ok until Coldplay joined them. What the hell was that???

4

I just started a Cafe Society thread about this. Holy $50 production values!
I should be flogged for enjoying this NSync tribute to the Bee Gees, though.

Seriously, you have to admit: that rocked. Or maybe anything would rock after the past thirty minutes of bullshit I’ve witnessed. Who knows.

5

The NSync thing was the worse thing I have ever seen in my entire life. In my worse nightmares, I could never have imagined anything that terrible.

6

but…but…

Beatboxing! :frowning:

7

Oh, man, that N’Sync thing was almost surreal in its awfulness. Who’d have thought you could sing the Bee Gees and make it have LESS soul? That’s quite an accomplishment, kids.

And I’ve gotta say I love Aretha Franklin, and I’m not one to criticise fashion a whole lot, but WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? She looked like giant snowman or something.

8

And how perfect is this? The ‘trustees award’ just went to the recording industry’s favorite LAWYER. If that doesn’t tell you where their values are these days, nothing will.

9

Adn the award for most creative illegal anti-war protest goes to Sheryl Crow for stapling ‘No War’ onto her guitar strap. I knew that Bedazzler kit she got in grade 8 would come in handy.

But I’ve gotta say, that duet with Kid Rock was pretty good. And she does look great in a miniskirt.

10

Oh, man… This is pathetic. The new head of the Recording academy just came out to tell everyone that music is alive and well, and “As we navigate through difficult times, we will be here to provide the emotional touchstones we need to make sense of it.”

This is doubly hilarious since yesterday the Grammy producers sent a message to all the performers that they had better stay away from political topics - or else.

What a load of horseshit.

11

You expected otherwise?

:eek: :eek:

12

I expected suckage. I did not expect the truly awe-inspiring levels of ineptitude I saw tonight. Usually the Grammys are impeccably produced tributes to crappy music. This year, it was terribly-produced crap paying tribute to completely forgettable music.

Did you notice that the ‘blugrass’ album awards weren’t even televised this year? Last year, Bluegrass was the new phenomenon, and several bluegrass albums won major awards. But I guess that music doesn’t play well to the 12-year-old demographic the recording industry is going for these days.

13

I watched ten minutes of it and it was PAINful.:eek:

14

How about Coldplay, the Pianist/Singer looks like he’s having a spastic seizure, while playing and singing.

No Doubt - They come up to get their Best Pop Vocal Performance by a Group, Gwen goes, I can’t believe it, like you gave this crappy song a Grammy. The worst song to recieve the Best Anything this year.

15

“Illegal”???

16

That’s cause they’re the Poor Man’s Radiohead. And to think they won over Elvis Costello and Beck. Beck could vomit a better album than theirs.

17

Oh, I forgot - No Doubt and Nelly sing one friggin’ song not a crapped up medley of two.

Also your not playing to your fanbase quit trying to get the crowd into the performance. The only time Classic, Jazz, Country people listen to your performance is when they are forced to.

18

One more thing - How much of a tool did Rod Stewart feel like presenting an award with a guy dressed in Drag, I don’t care if you are on Broadway, Harvey Firestine(sp) put a Suit On.

19

Simon and Garfunkel, together? On one stage? Hell, in one fucking city?

20

Yeah Coldy. You could tell they hadn’t rehearsed a lot, as they missed a few notes. Since it was our senior song in high school(SRHS.Pasadena,Texas class of '69). It was good to see them together again!