I’m in the middle of watching the Grammys right now, and let me just say… THEY SUCK. I mean, this show is just stinking out the place.
Avril Levigne, you know what’s ‘complicated’? Being able to hit the FUCKING NOTES. It must be, because you missed just about every one you tried for. I’ve heard you in live performances four or five times now, and every time you sounded like a cat that had its tail slammed in the car door. Every night before you go to bed, you should give a prayer of thanks to the people who invented the miracle of modern recording electronics. Because without them, you suck.
But it wasn’t just her. The production stinks - vocals are too loud or too quiet. The presenters so far have shown worse judgement than Jewel deciding to remake “Sweet Home Alabama”. The jokes are falling flat, and they’re forgetting their lines. Some of them haven’t even been able to read the freaking cards in front of them. Dustin Hoffman even blew the first opening two lines of the show. How pathetic is that? Hey Dustin, you’re an ACTOR. How can a guy who could create Ratzo Rizzo not be able to say, “Ladies and Gentlemen, Simon and Garfunkel” without screwing it up? And that attempt to be ‘hip’ just made you look like you need a new hip.
Even Simon and Garfunkle, who I love, sounded terrible. I blame it on production. And who’s brilliant idea was it to show them INDIVIDUALLY on the jumbotrons, one on either side of the stage, when the whole POINT to this was their being TOGETHER again?
As I’m typing this, Robin Williams came out and tried to tell a couple of jokes - I didn’t hear a single chuckle from the audience, but that could be because of the godawful microphone hum. Hey, Grammy producers! There’s this thing called an electrical ground - look into it.
I’d better finish this up right now, because N’Sync is about to come out and sing a ‘tribute’ to the Bee Gees. Christ, that’s like having to watch Rick Astley sing a tribute to Chris Isaac or something.
If I ever needed another reason to believe that the music industry is artistically, intellectually, and technically bankrupt, this did it. Way to go, you putzes.