Not me thank [deity of choice], but bungee jumping isn’t for the weak sphinctered.
Or going to the ER to have this x-ray made. Yes, it’s a photoshop, but there are plenty of real ones if you’re brave enough to find them.
You had yet another connection in Chicago?!? You poor bastard. But thank you for satisfying my curiosity!
So on review, are we agreed that having your mother catch you masturbating George Bush at a church altar would be the greatest humiliation?
Raintitan wins this thread. Most major embarrassments or humiliations are assuaged by quickly getting the hell out of a situation. Losing control of your bodily functions is pretty much the worse that can happen… but being in the same place and being unable to leave or change is pretty much the worse. I suspect Raintitan’s due for some good luck after getting through that (no pun intended) shitstorm…
The wank busts don’t sound that bad, because it seems as if all were wanking in the appropriate place (a private one) and were walked in on.
I’m sure I’ve had some bad ones, but they’re not coming to mind at the moment…
My best friend throws temper tantrums.
Not your average everyday tantrums. Like if I were to say my dad threw a tantrum, it would include yelling, stomping around, maybe throwing things and making threats. If I were to say it of my sister, I would mean mostly that she yelled and cried. When I say my best friend threw a temper tantrum, I mean like a toddler would throw. She falls on the ground and kicks and thrashes, there’s lots of wailing/howling/wordless screaming, she hits and throws things and so on. She even sits there wailing “but I waaaaaaannnnt it!” like she’s fucking three. But she’s not three, so it also includes a lot of swearing, threats, and insults.
The last time we were together, it was like a constant stream of them. There was the one I posted about here and then two days later, one way worse and WAY more humiliating.
It took place in public, in a pediatrician’s office. Things weren’t going her way and she flipped out. In FULL flip-out mode. It was horrible- nobody could control her, her mom was just standing there helpless, I had her son and was trying to keep him calm… at first a few people came up and tried to reason with her a bit, there were a few “ma’am, I know you’re upset, but there are a lot of other people here…” but she just kept on shrieking.
Everyone was staring at us. Parents holding their kids and looking frightened and confused… people were just speechless. Worse, in the course of her tantrum, she was hurling insults at her toddler son (the one I was holding) and I’m standing there with the best “everything’s okay, damnit” smile I can muster singing Baby Beluga and telling him he’s my favorite little boy and hoping that he hears that instead of his mom’s “my baby is stupid! I don’t want that baby!”
To be in public with a grown-ass woman behaving in a way that would elicit annoyed looks and possibly pit threads if she were three… that’s humiliating. I mean when it’s a toddler, people blame the parents for letting the kid scream, but when it’s someone who’s twenty, what are you supposed to do? You can’t pick her up and put her in time out. People were giving me and her mom all these looks- a few sympathetic, but mostly pissed/judgy looks and I’m standing there like a demented person with my voice two octaves higher than normal monologuing at a two-year-old about how much I love him and how a fish says “glug glug glug” and pausing occasionally to give out an apologetic look and pray to any God that exists that her mom and the kid and I might be abducted by aliens or something or even that someone would call the cops or something so that someone with more authority could effectively put her in time out.
At least if someone leaves you at the altar, you get a lot of sympathy. It’s something bad that happened to you. When you’re in public with an adult behaving like a spoiled neanderthal toddler, not as much.
Christ. Poor little boy.
yeah. He’s the number one reason she’s not already officially an ex friend.
And her parents and I are in the process of trying to get her to let him stay with them for a few months at least and trying to figure out what to do if that fails. It’s a whole messy situation and for a different thread… but I didn’t want everyone thinking that I plan on doing nothing and just letting him live his whole life like that.
OK Hijack,
What on God’s Green earth would possess and adult to act that way? Why would anyone permit them to do so? Any friend of mine would be immediately abandoned on the sidewalk, floor, hallway where ever this occurred. Of course there’s always a good glass or better yet bucket of water to bring them round.
Yeah, I think I’d be first in line with the bucket of water.
At least poor Raintitan was obviously sick when he got back to his seat - if you’re continuing to throw up, people know you’re sick and understand. If you just poop your pants and seem otherwise fine, I’d imagine it’s a lot more embarrassing. “God, Mabel, did you see that man? I wonder what’s wrong with him?” instead of “Oh god, I wonder if he had the fish? Maybe I shouldn’t get the fish.”
I would hope that her having made it to best friend status indicates that this is a recent aberation rather than something that she has done all along.
I’d seriously try getting her voluntarily into an inpatient facility or getting with her parents for involuntary treatment if that failed.
Something is badly unhinged in there and it can rapidly turn dangerous. Having a dead or injured infant is not the time to start looking into this.
ETA: Or an injured anyone for that matter. Including herself
How about all these years later telling your best buds that you’ve met this wonderful, educated, smart woman. Her name: Monica Lewinski.
That would be a tough …uh…row…to hoe.
How about, “Only VIDs come in her mouth”. (very important dicks)
Close, but no cigar.
Perhaps I’m imagining things, but didn’t we have a case were a doper slept with another doper’s wife at a Dopefest? I’d imagine that ranks up there. I think being stood up at the alter is a hard one to beat though.
Seems a waste of a good cigar.
Hey, transsexuals can get humiliated, too!
Spending pretty much of the entire 1980’s as a drunk provided a lot of fodder for humiliating myself. The one that still makes my toes curl is getting sloshed, and deciding 2 AM was a perfect time for calling every past girl friend or sexual partner I could think of in order to let them know how great I was doing. If I had to call their parents to get their phone number, so much the better. Yeah, waking up the next morning and remembering that episode was pretty much a low point. I don’t even want to think about what I might have done during black outs.
My wife had a good one we still laugh about (that she can laugh about it is one of the reasons I admire her). She had just started a new job, and she was walking to the parking lot with about 6 co-workers to go to lunch. She stepped off the curb wrong and twisted her ankle, automatically yelling “Fuck!” and ripping a really long and loud fart.
She said that she hoped yelling “Fuck” drowned out the fart.
ETA: To add insult to injury, she was in a cast for 6 weeks.
I don’t call home too often, mainly because while I love my parents, I really don’t have much in common with them, and conversations are somewhat frustrating and strained. So anyway, I was in the Navy in Norfolk, VA, and my parents wanted to get ahold of me. Mom mentioned this to grandpa. Grandpa asks an Ex Admiral he knows if he can get a number. Ex admiral calls current Admiral and says family is having trouble contacting a sailor. Current Admiral calls Captain of the USS Enterprise and asks why his sailors aren’t keeping in touch with their families. Captain of the USS Enterprise calls Petty Officer Anderson to his office over the ships PA system, and yells at him and asks why he just got chewed out by an admiral about why his sailors aren’t informed about methods sailors can use to keep in touch with their families, and is then ORDERED to give his workcenter 15 minutes of training on the various methods one can use to keep in touch with their families.
The dire situation? Mom wanted to know if i had gotten my birthday card.
The greatest humiliation? Being featured on “To Catch a Predator”, even erroneously. You’ll never, ever come back from that.
Ha. That’s great CutterJohn. Don’t mess with mom, everyone in the military knows that. When I was in boot camp the drill instructor said right before our few allowed phone calls that we better damn well be calling our moms. If he caught us calling “your pathetic little girlfriends” we would be doing push ups until our hearts exploded.