This is one of those stories I like telling now, but was MORTIFIED for the longest time and would not speak of.
I was mostly blacked out for this, so I really don’t remember that much. Apparantly I was in the bathroom for about an hour hrowing up and moaning. Then, I started wishing I was dead and proclaimed it rather loudly. I had my head on the bowl so long I bruised my forehead. I asked Jhonette to call for an ambulance, and she did. Only, not just one paramedic showed up,but eight paramedics, two cops, some firemen, and probably the mayor. There was a cop car, two ambulances and a firetruck all outside our house! I’m wondering if they assumed there was a huge party going on and we were all sick, or maybe it was just a boring night out in our neck of the woods. They put me on a stretcher and gave me an IV and two shots of something. No not booze, injections. They took me to Providance of all places because Legacy and Emmanual were supposedly full. They took Division most of the way, and came across a car wreck. They stopped to get out and help, then they hauled ass to drop me off at the hospital so they could go back to the wreck.
They wheeled me in, and tried to make me pee. I refused to pee for some reason so they gave me a catheter. Thankfully, I have no memory of that, although it hurt to pee the first time I went the next day. They took a blood sample and said I had a BAC of .17. So when the EMTs first got there, I’d probably had .2 or something close to that. They gave me another IV and two more shots. They walked me around the hospital trying to keep me awake, and I had no recollection of even doing that. I threw up a few more times in the ambulance and at the hospital. I threw up on myself and my saint of a wife washed my shirt for me in the sink. Once they said I would be OK and not die, she wheeled me out and put me in the car. Now, Jhonette is horrible with directions and I kept passing out while she was trying to find her way home. Irritated, I yelled at her that I didn’t even know where we were so how was I supposed to help her find her way home!?! That was the only time I’d made her mad at me the entire night.
I woke up the next day tired and thirsty, and had this horrible dream that I’d been in the hospital. That was until I noticed the hospital bands and the four things of tape holding down where they stuck me with needles. I also had pain in my solar plexus really bad too. Apparantly that happened when they stuck the catheter in, I kept sitting up in pain. Jhonette held me down right in that spot, and she pressed a little too hard.
And Autumn took a picture of me throwing up. How nice of her!
What started it all was (and I don’t remember this) is one of my drunkass idiot friends decided to give me four shots of Irish whiskey within a minute when I was already three sheets to the wind. Ten minutes later I was puking it back up. I was in there for an hour, and all my so-called friends were standing around the bathroom door laughing at me. I don’t remember that at all either. I do strongly remember praying and begging for death though. My dear sweet wife would have complied, but then she’d have no one to dispose of the body since that’s usually my department.
On top of it all, I had six of my coworkers at the party that saw the whole thing. One of my other coworkers was throwing a massive birthday party the next day, and many of my comrades at work were at that party the next day.
Word spread.
Two days later, I go in to work, and there’s only 3 people that haven’t heard about my shenanigans the Saturday before. Oh, did I mention that we’re a 24/7 call center and everyone has different days off?
Little Nemo, that sounds like some small solace if one were ever in an embarrassing situation; just tell yourself “At least I’m not on television right now.” and hope that it’s true. 
