The greatest lines in film history?

Again from Dr. Strangelove, or How I learned to stop worrying and love the Bomb.:

General “Buck” Turgidson: Mr. President, we are rapidly approaching a moment of truth both for ourselves as human beings and for the life of our nation. Now, truth is not always a pleasant thing. But it is necessary now to make a choice, to choose between two admittedly regrettable, but nevertheless distinguishable, postwar environments: one where you got twenty million people killed, and the other where you got a hundred and fifty million people killed.

President Merkin Muffley: You’re talking about mass murder, General, not war!

General “Buck” Turgidson: Mr. President, I’m not saying we wouldn’t get our hair mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops. Uh, depending on the breaks

This was “chilling” in 1963 when there were two world powers. It still is…even though we’re down to only one.


“Jesus, throw a rock in here, you’ll hit one. And do me a favor, Fink: throw it hard!”
–from Barton Fink

“You’re far too trusting.” – Star Wars

“Nazis. I hate these guys.” – Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade

“Looks like we’re gonna need more FBI guys.” – Die Hard

“I would like to have seen Montana.” – The Hunt for Red October

“First I would like you wipe that fucking smile off your fucking rosy cheeks. Then I want a fucking car. A fucking Honda, a fucking Toyota, four fucking wheels and a seat!” – Planes, Trains & Automobiles

“Rommel you magnificent bastard – I read your book!”

“Well son, your bystanding days are over. You’re in it now, up to your neck.”

“Hey, Mike, you think you can toss me my calculations? Thanks! Ah, here it is. ‘Breach Hull - All Die.’ Even had it underlined.”

“No one ever wins a war by dying for his country. He wins by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.”

  • Patton

“My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

  • The Princess Bride

No one has yet posted my favorite from Strangelove (from memory–notoriously suspect):

Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here…this is the war room!

Up in Smoke

Scene;

Car full of pot smoke parked in meridian 3 inches from light pole.

Lines;

Cheech : hey man, am I driven` OK?

Chong : I think were parked man.

Fletch

Scene;

Fletch bent over table during exam from doctor.

Line;

Fletch : Ah, usin` the whole fist doc?

From the Magnificent Seven (the first and last are priceless, and the whole start of the movie is priceless)

Henry: Now how do you like that. I want him buried, you want him buried, and if he could sit up and talk he’d second the motion. Now that’s as unanimous as you can get.
Chamlee: There’s an element in town that objects.
Henry: Objects? Objects to what?
Chamlee: They say he isn’t fit to be buried there.
Robert: What? In Boot Hill?
Henry: Why, there’s nothing up there but murderous cutthroats and derelict old barflies, and if they ever felt exclusive brother, they’re past it now.
Chamlee: I don’t like it, no sir. I’ve always treated every man the same: just as another, future customer.
Henry: Well in that case, get that hearse rolling.
Chamlee: I can’t, my driver’s quit!
Robert: He’s prejudiced too, huh?
Chamlee: Well, when it comes to a chance of getting his head blown off, he’s downright bigoted.

Do they speek english in “What”?

  • Pulp Fiction

I come over here expecting to see some track laid, and i find you… jumping around like a bunch of Kansas City Fag*ots.

  • Blazing Saddles

“Unless you don’t want to be counting the fingers that you haven’t got, i suggest you get those guns… QUICK!”
“there’s one more thing… its been emotional.”

  • Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

“To the weenie mobile… Weenie man away!”
“contact Dr. Jamima”
“don’t leave me here with the germans”
“eat my photons smallheads!”
“its time for the Brack show. DADA DADA DA DA, its the brack show staring me, I’m brack, its the brack show, and i’ve got lots of good gas”
“now if you don’t mind, i’ve been waiting for this all day”
“welcome to raspberryworld, for all your raspberry needs”

  • Mystery Science Theater 3000: the Movie

Time bandits paraphrased:

[everyone pushes]

Randall: No, no, not like that. Wait for me to give the order. Right. Ready, one. . .stop, stop. You never start on one. Who ever heard of anybody starting anything on one?"
someone else What is it, then? Two, or three?
Randall: Three!

[Randall trampled by everyone pushing]

of course this;

** The Search for the Holy Grail **;

I faaaaaaart in your general direction!!!

From Up in smoke

Chong, as he hands Cheech some drugs: “Here man take these.”

Cheech swallows the drugs down.

Chong: “Oh wait, don’t take those.”

From The Big Lebowski (as mentioned, half the script could posted here):

“You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don’t wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o’clock this afternoon–with nail polish.”
Various assorted quotes:

“Mongo just a pawn in game of life”

“I like to think that the last thing that went through the warden’s head, other than that bullet, was how in the hell Andy Defresne got the better of him.”

“I don’t know. It’s a mystery”

“The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didnt exist… and then, like that, he vanished”

“How do you shoot the devil in the back? What if you miss?”

“Vanity… my favorite sin”

“There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who stand up and face the music, and those who duck for cover… Cover is better”

“Hey, let me buy you a pack of gum. I’ll show you how to chew it.” - Roma (Al Pacino’s character in Glengary Glen Ross)

“MMMMMMMmmmmmm, Brains!”


“Leave the gun - Take the canoli”

“Never tell me the odds.”

“The Dude abides.” - The Big Lebowski

“See this?! This is my BOOMSTICK!” - Army of Darkness

And lest we forget…

“One time, when I was at Band Camp…”