Redd Foxx’s original name was John Sanford.
I lave John Sanford’s Kidd character, and despise Red Foxx’s Fred Sanford character.
Who’d a thunk I would ever have discussed them in the same sentence?
I had an apple fritter for breakfast. Wonder if I will have a Sanfordesque heart attack because of it.
Hey, Abby, have you ever stopped to consider how much time you fritter away on this here board? I did once, and had to lie down till the vapors passed.
(Pause for everyone to run through “vapors passed” jokes.)
Anyway, what better place than the hijack thread to proudly announce that THIS IS MY 300TH POST!!!
Why, yes – I DO shut the F up once in a while. Why do you ask?
Did you hear about the academic progress of various states of matter? The solids failed, the liquids got “incompletes”, and the vapors passed.
My brother is making dinner for me right now… but then I have to do the dishes. That’s fair enough… at least he doesn’t like using massive numbers of dishes like my mom does! :eek:
F_X
Fart jokes, do you mean? Why, funny you should ask. I have a whole bunch of them for you right here! 
Looking at the results, I’d never have dreamed that there were such things as “downloadable fart machines.” The world just got a little bit stranger for me today…
(of course, you could always ask lieu… I’m sure he has lots of them for you!)
F_X
I’ve been on this board consecutively now for 7 hours.
I hope you put a nice thick cushion on that board, or your tush will be in agony by now.
Oh yes, I have a pillow underneath right now made out of Elvis’s chest hair.
Wow 300 posts in under three months. You sure hit the boards typing.
In the last month or so, I’ve posted around 900 posts.
In the last month, I have done the following horrible things to my car:
– Mangled the front bumper while attempting to park
– Left the back window down, resulting in 2 inches of rainwater in the back seat
– Dropped a full Coke can into the passenger seat.
I’m hoping to total the (formerly pretty BMW) soon.
You gonna total it or drown it? 
In the last month, I’ve fallen on stairs three times.
Yes I am over the age of three and under the age of 80. I don’t know what my problem is lately, but I am beginning to get afraid of stairs. It’s like a troll reaches up and grabs my heel or trips me or something.
In the last two months, I have about 850 posts (cuz I’m a BLOWHARD! ) But I haven’t wrecked my car (parking! :rolleyes: ) so I got THAT working for me!
I have about 50 of my CDs in my car… if you’re looking for a car to break into…
Why is breaking wind so comical to so many people?
Bubble!
I used to think I was plagued by gas bubbles, for years. Then, I found out what a necrotic gall bladder feels like.
Personally, I’d have been happier if it had just turned out to be gas.
I have no idea, but one of our family nicknames IS “fart” / “chubfart!”
F_X