Is there ANY limit to human weirdness? Because I reached this site through a humour link, I thought at first that it was all tongue in cheek… Alas, misery, woe and gnashing of teeth, I fear it is not.
Here are some new commmandments, for instance - our Mr. TedJesusChristGod is quite a bossy sort, it seems.
Subjects very close to his heart seem to be sex - (or why most of it is a “DRASTIC SIN”), and computers/internet: the poor lad get hacked by demons, you know.
I warn you - his writings are shorter than "War and Peace, but not, perhaps, by very much.
Thank you Celyn - I just got laid off today and this helped me a lot. This is one of the funniest things I have ssen in a long time. It is such a strange mixture of the obvious (Do not eat people) with the bizzare (Do not if a women or female straddle a motorcycle and ride a motorcycle or be given a ride because this is not proper and she can have orgasms from the vibrations). Throw in the strange grammer and presto - instant hilarity.
My faves:
Do not verbalize Ted in a swearing tone.
Do not Mass Murder.
Do not get into the movie or television or entertainment industry.
Do not Mickey anybodies drink.
If a women or female do NOT be a women libber.
Do not live in wicked cities.
Do not become or be a dirty person.
Do not get penis implants.
Do not use stolen source code.
Do not put your penis between a women or females breast and have sex and then ejaculate on her.
Do not wear cowboy boots.
Do not make bombs and have fun with them.
Some of it is downright scary: Do not neglect to marry off your daughter soon after she starts her period and starts to bleed periodically because when doing this she is adult for a human and is old enough to reproduce and is ready and is old enough to be and should be getting married!
Anybody else get the sense that although his commandments are supposedly listed in order of importance, he’s just going with flow-of-thought here? Example:
…cuz, you know, a lot of piercings have BALLS! And if “strange places” isn’t specific enough, he narrows down the whole “tongue” and “belly button” thing for us…
And for your added amusement, he wants to be your President.
