Somebody on another MB posted a link to this.
It’s a guy who calls himself “Ted Jesus Christ God” and he claims to be the second coming. He has a huge list of commandments that are comedy gold.
There are too many to paste them all but here are a few of my favorites:
It sounds like God is a retarded kid. Do not compete “too much” with him? I guess that means you can play some one-on-one basketball with him but just make sure you let him win.
I’m glad we got that straight.
I think those are some rules we can all get behind.
Another one I whole-heartedly endorse.
I’m glad he left that loophole for animals.
I’m not sure his description would discourage any females from wanting to ride a horse.
I love the randomness of this list.
I’m sure the girls are all over this guy.
It’s about time somebody put a stop to that.
Are there still “women’s libbers?”
What about when you’re not having sex?
Not much wiggle room there, is there?
He really seems to hate the female orgasm but somehow I have a feeling he’s never actually witnessed one.
But what if I really love me?
There is much, much more but I would like people to discover some of those gems on their own. I will just skip down to my favorite one.
We now have the definitive word on farting.
You should really read the whole list to get the full power and effect of the comedy.
Oh, and since this is the Pit…fuckity fuckity fuck-tit.